Augustinovich pondered over this, how a man, so active and broadly
living a short time before, would be in a couple of days, perhaps,
something dead, which they would bury in the ground, and the comedy
would be ended! Oh, an ordinary, everyday thought, and every day equally
bitter for those who must think: This is the end! dust! Still, when he
lived with full life, he judged, analyzed, acted perhaps more widely
than others. As a plough turns out the sod, so he, in the soil of life,
from the furrows of good and evil was winning good and--? Involuntarily
one asks for the moral sense of this fable. Where, when, on what
planets, will living persons find an answer beyond the tomb?
Immortality?--In the ocean of human acts perhaps a few moral atoms of
the deeds of the dead survive, but that I, powerful, energetically
self-conscious, where is it? And those atoms of acts are like the corpse
of a sailor dropped down from a ship into the abyss of the sea. Where
shall we look for them, and who will find them? Will God ever fish them
out from those shoreless billows, and will He develop from them a new
self-conscious being? "_È bene trovato!_" The bitterness of these
thoughts settled now on the sleepy forehead of Augustinovich, but
meanwhile the window-panes from black began to turn gray. It was
dawning. In the chamber the light of the candle grew rosier gradually
and fainter, objects began to issue from the shade. In the corridors
were heard now the steps of the hospital servants. An hour later the
doctor came in.
"How is the patient?" inquired he.
"Ill," answered Augustinovich, abruptly.
The doctor thrust out his lower lip with importance, wrinkled his
forehead, and felt the pulse of the sick man.
"What do you think?" inquired Augustinovich.
"Well, what? I think nothing--he is ill, very ill."
A shade of irony passed over Augustinovich's face.
"But I think, professor, that medicine is a very dull child which
believes that if it takes its heels in its hands it can lift itself. Is
this not the case?"
The doctor nodded a couple of times, prescribed some cooling medicine,
and went out. Augustinovich, looking at the prescription, shook his head
in his turn, shrugged his shoulders, and sat at the bed.
Meanwhile the patient grew worse toward evening, about midnight he was
almost dying. Augustinovich wept like a child and knocked himself
against the walls of the chamber. He sat up again through the whole
night.
Toward morning it seemed to him that he noticed a slight improvement,
but that improvement was deceptive. Pale and red spots appeared on the
sick man; evidently he had burnt out in fever and was quenching.
In the evening Pani Visberg came. Augustinovich would not admit her to
the room. From his face she learned that something terrible must be
happening.
"Is he alive?" cried she.
"He is dying!" answered Augustinovich, briefly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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