Incidents of the War: Humorous, Pathetic, and DescriptiveBurnett, Alfred
History
Incidents of the War: Humorous, Pathetic, and Descriptive
Burnett, Alfred
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Anecdotes
"_Breakers ahead" for Yankee merchantmen!_ The Alabama and Florida! If
they are not breakers to the ships, they will soon break all the
ship-owners.
The Yankee corpses lying around Vicksburg are becoming fetid as fast
as the living ones are becoming _de_-feated.
HIGHT IGO, YE ECCENTRIC QUARTER-MASTER.
Everybody in the Third Division of Crittenden's corps knows the
Quarter-master of the 35th Indiana, Hight Igo; in fact, his fame is
not confined to General Van Cleve's division. No, sir! not by any
means! His eccentricities are the theme of conversation from Triune to
Stone River, from "Kripple Kreek" to Nashville.
His first introduction to the favorable notice of high military
authority occurred at Louisville. Shortly after the gallant 35th came
into service, he stopped General Wood one day in the streets of
Louisville, to inquire upon the subject of "yarn socks." The General
informed him he never transacted business on the street, and suggested
the propriety of calling at head-quarters. A short time after this the
General met Igo on the street, and having heard something queer about
Igo's forage account, requested information in regard thereto. Igo
coolly remarked: "General, I never transact business on the street.
You will please call at my quarters, when I shall be happy to afford
you an insight into my affairs."
The next day a couple of the General's staff-officers called upon the
incorrigible Igo, to investigate matters, and they investigated "in a
horn." Igo remarked that, if they had waited until next morning to
make their report, things would have worked; but they foolishly went
into the presence of the General immediately upon their arrival; and
when they reported "Quar-hic-termaster Igo's busi-ness all-hic-sound,"
the General "couldn't see it," and dispatched another officer, who
could resist the blandishments of whisky-punch long enough to conduct
the investigation.
The result of this move was a rather tart request--from the
Quarter-master-General's Department--for Lieutenant Igo to send all
the papers belonging to his department to Washington, for adjustment;
a request which our friend complied with by heading up vouchers,
receipts, requisitions, etc., in an ammunition-keg, with a letter
stating that, inasmuch as the Department had a great many more clerks
at its command than he had, and were probably better acquainted with
the "biz" of making out quarterly reports or returns, they might be
able to understand how things stood between him and the Government;
confessing, at the same time, that he "couldn't make head or tail out
of the blasted figures." In due course of mail Igo received a
communication from the Department, informing him that if he did not
immediately send in his report for the quarter ending on the 31st of
October, he would find himself in Washington, under arrest. To this
Igo answered thus:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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