Incidents of the War: Humorous, Pathetic, and DescriptiveBurnett, Alfred
History
Incidents of the War: Humorous, Pathetic, and Descriptive
Burnett, Alfred
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Anecdotes
This reply brought in a third party--old Mrs. Reynolds, a regular
spitfire, a she-Secessionist of the most rabid, cantankerous
species--a tiger-cat in petticoats. This she specimen of the "Spirit
of the South," of the demon of desolation, had bottled up her venom
during the conversation of her son, but could hold in no longer; her
_vial_ of wrath "busted," the cork flew out, and the way she came at
the General was a caution to the wayfarers over this road, at any
rate.
"O, yes! and that's all you nasty Yankees come here for, is, to
destroy our property, invade our sile, _deserlatin'_ our homes. This
'ere whole war is nothing but a Yankee speculation, gotten up by the
North, so that they can steal niggers and drive us from our homes."
"Well, madam, as it is not my province to quarrel with a woman, I
shall not talk to you. You get excited, and don't know what you're
talking about."
"O! but I'll talk to _you_ as much as I please. You're all a sneaking
set of thieves. You can just take yourself out of my house, you dirty
pup. You're drunk."
The General very placidly listened to the old termagant, and merely
remarked, "It was too cold to go out of the house just then; he
guessed he'd warm himself first."
"Get out, quick," said she, opening the door. "I'll let you know I'm a
Harney. Yes, I'm a grand-daughter of General Harney, of Revolutionary
fame."
"Well, madam, I have before told you I don't want to quarrel with a
woman, but if you have any of the male Harneys about the house, who
will give me the tenth part of the insolence that I have listened to
from the lips of 'one old enough to know better,' I will soon show him
of what mettle I'm made."
"Jeemes, give me your six-shooter," fairly shrieked the old woman;
"I'll soon show him. _I'll fight you at ten paces, sir!_"
The General laughed at her last remark; seeing which, she became
perfectly furious. Her sons and daughters begged her to desist from
such talk; but the more they cried "Don't," the less she "_don'ted_."
The family, by this time, had been made aware that it was a real
General at whom this insolence of tongue was being hurled, and the
tribulation of the son was great. The General, after thoroughly
warming himself, quietly walked out with his staff. The son followed
to the door, making all sorts of apologies for his mother--that she
had been sick, was peevish, and, at times, out of her head. I
suggested to him, that I didn't think she would _be so apt to go out
of her head if John Morgan had come along_, instead of a Union man.
Lucky for that house and its inmates that the 9th Ohio, or any of
General Steadman's command, were not apprised of the proceedings. The
General, in the kindness of his heart, and for the sake of the
soldiers quartered there, placed a guard around her house, to prevent
her being troubled in the least while the regiments were passing.
CHAPTER XVIII.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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