‘Into the Past.’ He uttered the little word in a way beyond me to
describe. There came a flood of glory with it, a sense of peace and
beauty, of battles over and of rest attained. No saint could have
brimmed ‘Heaven’ with as much passionately enticing meaning. He went
willingly, prolonging the struggle merely to enjoy the greater relief
and joy of the consummation.
For again he spoke as though a struggle were in progress in his being.
I got the impression that he somewhere wanted help. I understood
the pathetic quality I had vaguely discerned already. His character
naturally was so strong and independent. It now seemed weaker, as
though certain fibres had been drawn out. And I understood then that
the spell of Egypt, so lightly chattered about in its sensational
aspect, so rarely known in its naked power, the nameless, creeping
influence that begins deep below the surface and thence sends delicate
tendrils outwards, was in his blood. I, in my untaught ignorance, had
felt it too; it is undeniable; one is aware of unaccountable, queer
things in Egypt; even the utterly prosaic feel them. Dead Egypt is
marvellously alive....
I glanced past him out of the big windows where the desert glimmered
in its featureless expanse of yellow leagues, two monstrous pyramids
signalling from across the Nile, and for a moment--inexplicably, it
seemed to me afterwards--I lost sight of my companion’s stalwart
figure that was yet so close before my eyes. He had risen from his
chair; he was standing near me; yet my sight missed him altogether.
Something, dim as a shadow, faint as a breath of air, rose up and bore
my thoughts away, obliterating vision too. I forgot for a moment who
I was; identity slipped from me. Thought, sight, feeling, all sank
away into the emptiness of those sun-baked sands, sank, as it were,
into nothingness, caught away from the Present, enticed, absorbed....
And when I looked back again to answer him, or rather to ask what
his curious words could mean--he was no longer there. More than
surprised--for there was something of shock in the disappearance--I
turned to search. I had not seen him go. He had stolen from my side so
softly, slipped away silently, mysteriously, and--so easily. I remember
that a faint shiver ran down my back as I realised that I was alone.
Was it that, momentarily, I had caught a reflex of his state of mind?
Had my sympathy induced in myself an echo of what he experienced in
full--a going backwards, a loss of present vigour, the enticing, subtle
draw of those immeasurable sands that hide the living dead from the
interruptions of the careless living...?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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