Moleson turned round at him, opened his lips to speak, hesitated,
stopped. He said nothing for a moment. I cannot describe what it was
in the lightning glance they exchanged that put me on the alert for
something other than was obvious. My nerves quivered suddenly, and
a breath of colder air stole in among us. Moleson swung round to me
again. ‘I almost think,’ he said, laughing when I complimented him
upon the music, ‘that I must have been a priest of Aton-Ra in an
earlier existence, for all this comes to my finger-tips as if it were
instinctive knowledge. Plotinus, remember, lived a few miles away at
Alexandria with his great idea that knowledge is recollection,’ he
said, with a kind of cynical amusement. ‘In those days, at any rate,’
he added more significantly, ‘worship was real and ceremonials actually
expressed great ideas and teaching. There was power in them.’ Two of
the Molesons spoke in that contradictory utterance.
I saw that Isley was fidgeting where he sat, betraying by certain
gestures that uneasiness was in him. He hid his face a moment in his
hands; he sighed; he made a movement--as though to prevent something
coming. But Moleson resisted his attempt to change the conversation,
though the key shifted a little of its own accord. There were numerous
occasions like this when I was aware that both men skirted something
that had happened, something that Moleson wished to resume, but that
Isley seemed anxious to postpone.
I found myself studying Moleson’s personality, yet never getting beyond
a certain point. Shrewd, subtle, with an acute rather than a large
intelligence, he was cynical as well as insincere, and yet I cannot
describe by what means I arrived at two other conclusions as well about
him: first, that this insincerity and want of heart had not been so
always; and, secondly, that he sought social diversion with deliberate
and un-ordinary purpose. I could well believe that the first was
Egypt’s mark upon him, and the second an effort at resistance and
self-protection.
‘If it wasn’t for the gaiety,’ he remarked once in a flippant way
that thinly hid significance, ‘a man out here would go under in a
year. Social life gets rather reckless--exaggerated--people do things
they would never dream of doing at home. Perhaps you’ve noticed it,’
he added, looking suddenly at me; ‘Cairo and the rest--they plunge
at it as though driven--a sort of excess about it somewhere.’ I
nodded agreement. The way he said it was unpleasant rather. ‘It’s
an antidote,’ he said, a sub-acid flavour in his tone. ‘I used to
loathe society myself. But now I find gaiety--a certain irresponsible
excitement--of importance. Egypt gets on the nerves after a bit. The
moral fibre fails. The will grows weak.’ And he glanced covertly at
Isley as with a desire to point his meaning. ‘It’s the clash between
the ugly present and the majestic past, perhaps.’ He smiled.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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