Exhaustion caught me, and I sank back among my cushions. But Marion
rose up suddenly and stood beside me. And as she did so, another Sky
dropped softly down upon us both, and I smelt again the incense of old,
old gardens that brought long-forgotten perfumes, incredibly sweet, but
with it an ache of far-off, passionate remembrance that was pain. This
great ache of distance swept over me like a wave.
I know not what grand change then was wrought upon her beauty, so that
I saw her defiant and erect, commanding Fate because she understood
it. She towered over me, but it was her soul that towered. The rush of
internal darkness in me blotted out all else. The familiar, present sky
grew dim, the sunshine faded, the lake and flowers and poplars dipped
away. Conditions a thousand times more vivid took their place. She
stood out, clear and shining in the glory of an undressed soul, brave
and confident with an eternal love that separation strengthened but
could never, never change. The deep sadness I abruptly realised, was
very little removed from joy--because, somehow, it was the condition of
joy. I could not explain it more than that.
And her voice, when she spoke, was firm with a note of steel in it;
intense, yet devoid of the wasting anger that passion brings. She was
determined beyond Death itself, upon a foundation sure and lasting
as the stars. The heart in her was calm, because she _knew_. She was
magnificent.
‘We are together--always,’ she said, her voice rich with the knowledge
of some unfathomable experience, ‘for separation is temporary merely,
forging new links in the ancient chain of lives that binds our hearts
eternally together.’ She looked like one who has conquered the
adversity Time brings, by accepting it. ‘You speak of the Present as
though our souls were already fitted now to bid it stay, needing no
further fashioning. Looking only to the Future, you forget our ample
Past that has made us what we are. Yet our Past is here and now, beside
us at this very moment. Into the hollow cups of weeks and months, of
years and centuries, Time pours its flood beneath our eyes. Time is
our schoolroom.... Are you so soon afraid? Does not separation achieve
that which companionship never could accomplish? And how shall we dare
eternity together if we cannot be strong in separation first?’
I listened while a flood of memories broke up through film upon film
and layer upon layer that had long covered them.
‘This Present that we seem to hold between our hands,’ she went on in
that earnest, distant voice, ‘_is_ our moment of sweet remembrance that
you speak of, of renewal, perhaps, too, of reconciliation--a fleeting
instant when we may kiss again and say good-bye, but with strengthened
hope and courage revived. But we may not stay together finally--we
_cannot_--until long discipline and pain shall have perfected sympathy
and schooled our love by searching, difficult tests, that it may last
for ever.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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