India : $b the pearl of Pearl RiverSouthworth, Emma Dorothy Eliza Nevitte
General
India : $b the pearl of Pearl River
Southworth, Emma Dorothy Eliza Nevitte
Louisiana -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Disciplined and chastened as her heart certainly had been in the trials
of her life, India was still very far from Christian perfection. And,
perhaps, now she needed a little of the sunshine of happiness, as well
as the long, long cloud of sorrow, to nurture the growth of goodness in
her heart. At all events, she found it very difficult to bear with
fortitude the mortification and grief of the night before. She had met
him on the steps of one of those Fifth Avenue palaces, where her pupils
resided. She had met him! he had passed her, brushing her dress as he
went! Though her veil was down, she had recognized him. And she knew by
the start that he made, he recognized _her_ as well! Yet he had passed
without speaking! Ah! all her thoughts of the future possibilities of a
rencounter that she dreaded and shrunk from, had not shaped a meeting so
humiliating as this! She _had_ feared that he would seek her out, and,
from his pride of place, presume to patronize her, by endeavouring to
improve her circumstances, giving her advice, offering her
assistance—humiliations which to escape she would have fled to an
alms-house—or, perhaps, plunged into a river, “but for the grace of
God,” for India was but half regenerated. But a rencounter so mortifying
as this, she had never dreamed of. All the circumstances attending that
chance meeting also combined to make it inexpressibly galling—_he_ going
into that house an honoured guest, for whom its saloons were illuminated
and a feast prepared, and a choice company gathered: she creeping out of
it, a sort of hired servant with her wages in her hand. So, in the
present bitterness of her mood, she looked at herself. And they had so
met upon the steps, and he had seen her, recognized her, and passed her
without speaking! “Ah! fool!” so she thought; “there was little need to
dread that he would seek me out to benefit me. The ‘great statesman’
evidently has no wish to be bored by his poor relations. But oh, Mark!
Mark! that _you_ should have done such an unworthy thing! _you_, my one
saving idea of manly excellence—that prosperity should have corrupted,
and the world hardened, even _you_! When you upbraided me so bitterly,
in the midst of my sorrows at Cashmere, I bore it all with a
meekness—not very like _me!_ because—oh! because I _saw and felt_ what
you would never acknowledge to your own heart—the secret, unacknowledged
feeling that gave point, sting, and acrimony to all the bitter
reproaches you uttered. Oh! Mark, in that day I read your heart as a
woman only can! But all this is over—over—and you pass me without
recognition,” she said, sinking into a chair, dropping her head upon her
hands, and giving way for the first time in years to a passionate flood
of tears.
Hark! the bell rings—Oriole goes to the door. It is probably the
postman, and India is too much depressed, and has too little to hope, to
care much about the coming of that messenger of joy or of woe to so many
households. But hark!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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