India -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
"That's just where yo're wrong," said Learoyd, reddening under the
freckled tan of his cheeks. "I was th' first wi' 'Liza, an' yo'd think
that were enough. But th' parson were a steady-gaited sort o' chap, and
Jesse were strong o' his side, and all th' women i' the congregation
dinned it to 'Liza 'at she were fair fond to take up wi' a wastrel
ne'er-do-weel like me, as was scarcelins respectable an' a fighting dog at
his heels. It was all very well for her to be doing me good and saving my
soul, but she must mind as she didn't do herself harm. They talk o' rich
folk bein' stuck up an' genteel, but for cast-iron pride o' respectability
there's naught like poor chapel folk. It's as cold as th' wind o' Greenhow
Hill--ay, and colder, for 'twill never change. And now I come to think on
it, one at strangest things I know is 'at they couldn't abide th' thought
o' soldiering. There's a vast o' fightin' i' th' Bible, and there's a deal
of Methodists i' th' army; but to hear chapel folk talk yo'd think that
soldierin' were next door, an' t'other side, to hangin'. I' their meetin's
all their talk is o' fightin'. When Sammy Strother were stuck for summat
to say in his prayers, he'd sing out, 'Th' sword o' th' Lord and o'
Gideon. They were allus at it about puttin' on th' whole armor o'
righteousness, an' fightin' the good fight o' faith. And then, atop o' 't
all, they held a prayer-meetin' ower a young chap as wanted to 'list, and
nearly deafened him, till he picked up his hat and fair ran away. And
they'd tell tales in th' Sunday-school o' bad lads as had been thumped and
brayed for bird-nesting o' Sundays and playin' truant o' week days, and
how they took to wrestlin', dog-fightin', rabbit-runnin', and drinkin',
till at last, as if 'twere a hepitaph on a gravestone, they damned him
across th' moors wi', 'an' then he went and 'listed for a soldier,' an'
they'd all fetch a deep breath, and throw up their eyes like a hen
drinkin'."
"Fwhy is ut?" said Mulvaney, bringing down his hand on his thigh with a
crack, "In the name av God, fwhy is ut? I've seen ut, tu. They cheat an'
they swindle an' they lie an' they slander, an' fifty things fifty times
worse; but the last an' the worst by their reckonin' is to serve the Widdy
honest. It's like the talk av childer--seein' things all round."
"Plucky lot of fightin' good fights of whatsername they'd do if we didn't
see they had a quiet place to fight in. And such fightin' as theirs is!
Cats on the tiles. T'other callin' to which to come on. I'd give a month's
pay to get some o' them broad-backed beggars in London sweatin' through a
day's road-makin' an' a night's rain. They'd carry on a deal
afterward--same as we're supposed to carry on. I've bin turned out of a
measly arf-license pub down Lambeth way, full o' greasy kebmen, 'fore
now," said Ortheris with an oath.
"Maybe you were dhrunk," said Mulvaney, soothingly.
"Worse nor that. The Forders were drunk. _I_ was wearin' the Queen's
uniform."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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