France -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Women -- France -- Fiction
declaration with a sort of ostentatious confidence. But several months
of careful watching were necessary before that confidence became as
genuine as he boasted that it was. Now it is as impregnable as Ralph's
steadfast and pacific heart."
"Are you perfectly sure, Indiana," said Raymon, "that Sir Ralph is not
deceiving himself the least bit in the world when he swears that he
never loved you?"
"I was twelve years old when he left Ile Bourbon to go with his wife to
England; I was sixteen when he returned to find me married, and he
manifested more joy than sorrow. Now, Ralph is really an old man."
"At twenty-nine?"
"Don't laugh at what I say. His face is young, but his heart is worn out
by suffering, and he no longer loves anybody, in order to avoid
suffering."
"Not even you?"
"Not even me. His friendship is simply a matter of habit; it was
generous in the old days when he took upon himself to protect and
educate my childhood, and then I loved him as he loves me to-day because
of the need I had of him. To-day my whole heart is bent upon paying my
debt to him, and my life is passed in trying to beautify and enliven
his. But, when I was a child, I loved him with the instinct rather than
with the heart, and he, now that he is a man, loves me less with the
heart than with the instinct. I am necessary to him because I am almost
alone in loving him; and to-day, as Monsieur Delmare manifests some
attachment to him, he is almost as fond of him as of me. His protection,
formerly so fearless in face of my father's despotism, has become
lukewarm and cautious in face of my husband's. He never reproaches
himself because I suffer, provided that I am near him. He does not ask
himself if I am unhappy; it is enough for him to see that I am alive. He
does not choose to lend me a support, which, while it would make my lot
less cruel, would disturb his serenity by making trouble between him and
Monsieur Delmare. By dint of hearing himself say again and again that
his heart is dry, he has persuaded himself that it is true, and his
heart has withered in the inaction in which he has allowed it to fall
asleep from distrust. He is a man whom the affection of another person
might have developed; but it was withdrawn from him and he shrivelled
up. Now he asserts that happiness consists in repose, pleasure, in the
comforts of life. He asks no questions about cares that he has not. I
must say the word: Ralph is selfish."
"Very good, so much the better," said Raymon; "I am no longer afraid of
him; indeed I will love him if you wish."
"Yes, love him, Raymon," she replied; "he will appreciate it; and, so
far as we are concerned, let us never trouble ourselves to explain why
people love us, but how they love us. Happy the man who can be loved, no
matter for what reason!"
"What you say, Indiana," replied Raymon, grasping her slender, willowy
form, "is the lament of a sad and solitary heart; but, in my case, I
want you to know both why and how, especially why."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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