"Yes, Mary, I am very happy--happier than I ever was before; and far
more so than I deserve. Oh! Mary, how miserable I have been; and it
is by contrast that the transition is so delightful. I doubted the
goodness and mercy of God; and, in the bitterness of my heart, I
asked why I had been created for so much suffering. Oh, Mary! my
pure-hearted, angel cousin, how much of my present happiness I owe to
you. Suppose you had suffered me to wander on in the maze of darkness.
At this moment I should have been a desolate, deluded, miserable nun;
clinging to a religion which, instead of Bible truths, filled the
anxious, aching heart with monkish legends of unattested miracles, and
in place of the pure worship of God, gives us mummeries nearer akin
to pagan rites! I thank God that I am released from my thraldom. I
see now the tissue of falsehood so plausible in which all things were
wrapped. Blackness and deceit in the garb of truth and purity! And
it is horrible, to think that he who so led me astray claims to be my
brother! Mary, Mary, how can I tell Mr. Stewart this?--tell him that I
have wandered from the true faith--that I have knelt in confession to
him who cursed our common father! He will despise me for my weakness:
for only yesterday he said he first loved me for my clear insight into
right and wrong, and my scorn of deceit and hypocrisy! Yet I deceived
you; at least, tacitly--you who have ever loved me so truly, you
who have saved me at last, and pointed out the road to heaven. Mary,
forgive me! I never asked pardon of any on earth before, but I wronged
you, good and gentle though you always were. Forgive me, oh, my
cousin!"
Mary clasped Florence's hands in hers, and though too feeble to speak
very audibly, replied:
"Florry, think not of the past; it has been very painful to us both,
yet I thank God that you are right at last. You know how I love you:
I would give every treasure of earth to contribute to your happiness;
and now that you are so blest, listen to my counsel. Florry, there is
a cloud no bigger than a man's hand resting low on the horizon of your
happiness--be warned in time. You know Mr. Stewart's firm, unwavering
principals of Protestantism; you know, too the aversion with which he
regards the priests of Rome; it may be a hard task now, but it will be
tenfold more difficult a year hence. Go to him at once, tell him you
were misguided and deceived, and reveal every circumstance connected
with that unhappy period. He will love you more for your candor.
Florry, you turn pale, as though unequal to the task. Oh, my cousin,
you prize his love more than truth; but the time will come when he
will prize truth more than your love! Florry, let me beg you tell him
all, and at once." She sank back, as if exhausted by her effort in
speaking so long, yet firmly retained Florence's hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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