United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Women -- Social conditions -- Fiction
personal unpopularity, your magnanimous guardian organized a cabal
against him. No sooner was the painting exhibited, than a tirade of
ridicule and abuse was poured upon it, and the journal most
influential in forming and directing artistic taste, contained an
overwhelmingly adverse criticism, which was written by a particular
friend and chum of Erle Palma, who, I am convinced, caused its
preparation. Oh, Regina! it was a cruel, cruel stab, that entered my
darling's noble tender heart, and almost maddened him. In literature,
savage criticism defeats its own unamiable purpose, by promoting the
sale of books it is designed to crush; but unfortunately this law
does not often operate in the department of painting. In a fit of
gloomy despondency, Belmont offered his lovely work for a mere
trifle, but the picture dealers declined to touch it at any price,
and rashly cutting it from the frame, he threw the labour of years
into the flames. Meantime grand-mamma had died, and Belmont's mother
became hopelessly bedridden, while his young brother had made his way
to Europe, where he occupied a menial position in a sculptor's
_atelier_ at Florence. A more rigid surveillance was exerted over me,
and the dancing dervishes crowned me queen of their revels. By day
and by night I was surrounded with influence intended to beguile me
from the past, to narcotize memory, to make me in reality the
heartless, soulless, scoffing creature that I certainly seem. But
Erle Palma has found me stiff tough clay, and despite his efforts, I
have been true to the one love of my life. What I have suffered, none
but the listening watching God above us knows; and sometimes I
despise and loathe myself for the miserable subterfuges I am forced
to practise in order to elude my keepers. Poor mamma loves me, after
a selfish worldly fashion, and there are moments when I really think
she pities me; but from Palma influence and association wealth has
long been her most precious fetich. Poverty, obscurity terrify her,
and for the fleshpots of fashion she would literally sell me, as she
once sold herself to Godwin Palma. Repeatedly I have been urged to
accept offers of marriage that revolted every instinct of my nature,
that seemed insulting to a woman who long ago gave away all that was
best, in her heart's idolatrous love. To-day my Belmont is ten-fold
dearer, than when in the dawning flush of womanhood, I plighted my
lifelong faith to him; and reigns more royally than ever over all
that is good and true in my perverted and cynical nature. I cling to
him, to my faith in his noble, manly, unselfish, undying love for me,
unworthy as I have grown, even as a drowning wretch to some
overhanging bough, which alone saves her from the black destruction
beneath. Unable to conquer the opposition he encountered here,
Belmont went West, and finally strayed into the solitudes of Oregon
and British America. At one time, for a year, I did not know whether
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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