United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Women -- Social conditions -- Fiction
Was there, she wondered, any conclusion so shameful as the truth,
which at all hazard she was resolved for her mother's sake to hide?
"You are secretly meeting and arranging to correspond with some
vagrant lover whom you blush so acknowledge."
"Lover! Oh, merciful God! When I need a father, and a father's
protecting name--when I am heart-sick for my mother, and her
shielding healing love--how can you cruelly talk to me of a lover?
What right has a nameless, homeless waif to think of love? God grant
me a father and a mother, a stainless name, and I shall never need,
never wish, never tolerate a lover! Do not insult my misery."
She lifted her clenched hands almost menacingly, and her passionate
vehemence startled her companion, who could scarcely recognize in the
glittering defiant gaze that met his the velvet violet eyes over
which the silken fringes had hung with such tender Madonna grace but
a half-hour before.
"Regina, how could you deceive me so shamefully?"
"I did not intend to do so. I am innocent of the disgraceful motives
you impute to me; but I cannot explain what you condemn so severely.
In all that I have done I have been impelled by a stern, painful
sense of duty, and my conscience acquits me; but I shall not give you
any explanation. To no human being, except my mother, will I confess
the whole matter. Oh, send me at once to her! I asked you to trust
me, and you believe me utterly unworthy, think I have forfeited your
confidence, even your respect. It is hard, very hard, for I hoped to
possess always your good opinion. But it must be borne, and now at
least, holding me so low in your esteem, you will not keep me under
your roof; you will gladly send me to mother. Let me go. Oh! do let
me go--at once; to-morrow."
She seemed inexplicably transformed into a woeful desperate woman,
and the man's heart yearned to fold her closely in his arms,
sheltering her for ever.
Drawing nearer, he spoke in a wholly altered voice.
"When you asked me to trust you, I did so. Now will you grant me a
similar boon? Lily, trust me."
His tone had never sounded so low, almost pleading before; and it
thrilled her with an overmastering grief, that when he who was wont
to command, condescended to sue for her confidence, she was forced
to withhold it.
"Oh, Mr. Palma, do not ask me! I cannot."
He took her hands, unwinding the cold fingers, and in his peculiar
magnetic way softly folding them in his warm palms; but she struggled
to withdraw them, and he saw the purple shadows deepening under her
large eyes.
"Little girl, I would not betray your secret Give it to my
safekeeping. Show me your heart."
As if fearful he might read it, she involuntarily closed her
eyes, and her answer was almost a sob.
"It is not my secret, it involves others, and I would rather die
to-morrow, to-night, than have it known. Oh! let me go away at once,
and for ever!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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