United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Women -- Social conditions -- Fiction
Mrs. Carew had returned to the city, and now and then Mr. Palma
mentioned her name, and delivered messages from her to his
stepmother; but Olga abstained from her old badinage, and Regina
imagined that her forbearance sprang from a knowledge of the
engagement which she supposed must exist between them. She could not
hear her name without a shiver of pain, and longed to get away before
the affair assumed a sufficiently decided form to compel her to
notice and discuss it. To-day, after watching her for some time, Olga
said:
"You are weary, and pale almost to ghastliness. Put away your books,
and come talk to me."
Regina sighed, laid down her pen, and came to the fireplace.
"I thought you promised to go very early to Mrs. St. Clare's and
assist Valeria in arranging her bridal veil?"
"So I did, and it will soon be time for me to dress. How I dislike to
go back into the gay world, where I have frisked so recklessly and so
long. Do you know I long for the hour when I shall end this
masquerade, and exchange silks and lace and jewellery for coarse blue
gown, blue apron, and white cap?"
"Do you imagine the colour of your garments will change the
complexion of your heart and mind? You remind me of Alexander's
comment upon Antipater: 'Outwardly Antipater wears only white
clothes, but within he is all purple.'"
"Ah! but my purple pride has been utterly dethroned, and it seems to
me now that when I find rest in cloistered duties the quiet sacred
seclusion will prove in some degree like the well _Zem-Zem_, in which
Gabriel washed Mohammed's heart, filled it with faith, and restored
it to his bosom. Until I am housed safely from the roar and gibes and
mockery of the world, I shall not grow better; for here
'God sends me back my prayers, as a father
Returns unoped the letters of a son
Who has dishonoured him.'
"To conquer the world is nobler than to shun it, and to a nature such
as yours, Olga, other lines in that poem ought to appeal with
peculiar force:
'If thy rich heart is like a palace shattered,
Stand up amid the ruins of thy heart,
And with a calm brow front the solemn stars--
A brave soul is a thing which all things serve.'"
The scheme which you are revolving now is one utterly antagonistic to
the wishes of your mother, and God would not bless a step which
involved the sacrifice of your duty to her."
"After a time mamma will approve; till then I shall be patient. She
has consented for me to go to the Mother House at Kaiserswerth, and
to some of the Deaconess establishments in Paris and Dresden, in
order that I may become thoroughly acquainted with the esoteric
working of the system. I am anxious also to visit the institution for
training nurses at Liverpool, and unless we sail directly for Havre,
we shall soon have an opportunity of gratifying my wishes."
Regina took the book from her hand, turned over the leaves, and read:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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