Ingersollia: Gems of Thought from the Lectures, Speeches, and Conversations of Col. Robert G. Ingersoll, Representative of His Opinions and BeliefsIngersoll, Robert Green
Religion
Ingersollia: Gems of Thought from the Lectures, Speeches, and Conversations of Col. Robert G. Ingersoll, Representative of His Opinions and Beliefs
Ingersoll, Robert Green
Ingersoll, Robert Green, 1833-1899 -- Quotations
How was the ark kept clean? We know how it was ventilated; but what
was done with the filth? How were the animals watered? How were some
portions of the ark heated for animals from the tropics, and others
kept cool for the polar bears? How did the animals get back to their
respective countries? Some had to creep back about six thousand miles,
and they could only go a few feet a day. Some of the creeping things
must have started for the ark just as soon as they were made, and kept
up a steady jog for sixteen hundred years. Think of a couple of the
slowest snails leaving a point opposite the ark and starting for the
plains of Shinar, a distance of twelve thousand miles. Going at the rate
rate of a mile a month, it would take them a thousand years. How did
they get there? Polar bears must have gone several thousand miles, and
so sudden a change in climate must have been exceedingly trying upon
their health. How did they know the way to go? Of course, all the polar
bears did not go. Only two were required. Who selected these?
511. Was Language Confounded at Babel.
How could language be confounded? It could be confounded only by the
destruction of memory. Did God destroy the memory of mankind at
that time, and if so, how? Did he paralyze that portion of the brain
presiding over the organs of articulation, so that they could not speak
the words, although they remembered them clearly, or did he so touch
the brain that they could not hear? Will some theologian, versed in
the machinery of the miraculous, tell us in what way God confounded the
language of mankind?
512. Would God Kill a Man for Making Ointment?
Can we believe that the real God, if there is one, ever ordered a man
to be killed simply for making hair oil, or ointment? We are told in
the thirtieth chapter of Exodus, that the Lord commanded Moses to take
myrrh, cinnamon, sweet calamus, cassia, and olive oil, and make a
holy ointment for the purpose of anointing the tabernacle, tables,
candlesticks and other utensils, as well as Aaron and his sons; saying,
at the same time, that whosoever compounded any like it, or whoever put
any of it on a stranger, should be put to death. In the same chapter,
the Lord furnishes Moses with a recipe for making a perfume, saying,
that whoever should make any which smelled like it, should be cut off
from his people. This, to me, sounds so unreasonable that I cannot
believe it.
513. How Did Water run up Hill?
Some Christians say that the fountains of the great deep were broken up.
Will they be kind enough to tell us what the fountains of the great deep
are? Others say that God had vast stores of water in the center of the
earth that he used on the occasion of the flood. How did these waters
happen to run up hill?
514. Would a Real God Uphold Slavery?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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