She spoke with constraint. Her heart was heavy--the hopes and ambitions
she had cherished of adding lustre to her fame for the joy and pride of
her lover, seemed all crushed at one blow. She was too young and
inexperienced to realise the fact that few men are proud of any woman's
success, especially in the arts. Their attitude is one of amused
tolerance when it is not of actual sex-jealousy or contempt. Least of
all can any man endure that the woman for whom he has a short spell of
passionate fancy should be considered notable, or in an intellectual
sense superior to himself. He likes her to be dependent on him alone
for her happiness,--for such poor crumbs of comfort he is pleased to
give her when the heat of his first passion has cooled,--but he is not
altogether pleased when she has sufficient intelligent perception to
see through his web of subterfuge and break away clear of the
entangling threads, standing free as a goddess on the height of her own
independent attainment. Innocent's idea of love was the angelic dream
of truth and everlastingness set forth by poets, whose sweet singing
deludes themselves and others,--she was ready to devote all the unique
powers of her mind and brain to the perfecting of herself for her
lover's delight. She wished to be beautiful, brilliant, renowned and
admired, simply that he might take joy in knowing that this beautiful,
brilliant, renowned and admired creature was HIS, body and
soul--existing solely for him and content to live only so long as he
lived, to work only so long as he worked,--to be nothing apart from his
love, but to be everything he could desire or command while his love
environed her. She thought of the eternal union of souls,--while he had
no belief in the soul at all, his half French materialism persuading
him that there was nothing eternal. And like all men of his type he
estimated her tenderness for him, her clinging arms, and the lingering
passion of her caresses, to be chiefly the outflow of pleased
vanity--the kittenish satisfaction of being stroked and fondled--the
sense of her own sex-attractiveness,--but of anything deep and closely
rooted in the centre of a more than usually sensitive nature he had not
the faintest conception, taking it for granted that all women, even
clever ones, were more or less alike, easily consoled by new millinery
when lovers failed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account