He turned his eyes away, and taking up one of his brushes, dipped it in
colour and made a great pretence of working in a bit of sky on his
canvas.
"You see, dear child," he resumed, with an unctuous air of patient
kindness--"your ideas of love and mine are totally different. You want
to live in a paradise of romance and tenderness--I want nothing of the
sort. Of course, with a sweet caressable creature like you it's very
pleasant to indulge in a little folly for a time,--and we've had quite
four months of the 'divine rapture' as the poets call it,--four months
is a long time for any rapture to last! You have--yes!--you have amused
me!--and I've made you happy--given you something to think about
besides scribbling and publishing--yes--I'm sure I have made you
happy--and,--what is much more to my credit--I have taken care of you
and left you unharmed. Think of that! Day after day I have had you here
entirely in my power!--and yet--and yet"--here he turned his cold blue
eyes upon her with an under-gleam of mockery in their steely
light--"you are still--Innocent!"
She did not move--she scarcely seemed to breathe.
"That is why I told you it would be a good thing for you if you
accepted Lord Blythe's offer,--in his great position he would be able
to marry you well to some rich fellow with a title"--he went on,
easily. "Now I am not a marrying man. Domestic bliss would not suit me.
I have sometimes thought it would hardly suit YOU!"
She stirred slightly, as though some invisible creature had touched
her, and held up one little trembling hand.
"Stop!" she said, and her voice though faint was clear and steady--"Do
you think--can you imagine that I am of so low and common a nature as
to marry any man, after--" She paused, struggling with herself.
"After what?" he queried, smilingly.
She shuddered, as with keenest cold.
"After your kisses!" she answered--"After your embraces which have held
me away from everything save you!--After your caresses--oh God!--after
all this,--do you think I would shame my body and perjure my soul by
giving myself to another man?"
He almost laughed at her saintly idea of a lover's chastity.
"Every woman would!" he declared--"And I'm sure every woman does!"
She looked straight before her into vacancy.
"I am not 'every woman,'" she said, slowly--"I am only one unhappy
girl!"
He was still dabbing colour on his canvas, but now threw down his brush
and came to her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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