"These"--and Innocent spoke them in a hushed voice, with sweet
reverence and feeling--"'Tonight I pull down and put away for ever the
golden banner of my life's ideal. It has been held aloft too long in
the sunshine of a dream, and the lily broidered on its web is but a
withered flower. My life is no longer of use to myself, but as a man
and faithful knight I will make it serve another's pleasure and
another's good. And because this good and simple girl doth truly love
me, though her love was none of my seeking, I will give her her heart's
desire, though mine own heart's desire shall never be accomplished,--I
will make her my wife, and will be to her a true and loyal husband, so
that she may receive from me all she craves of happiness and peace. For
though I fain would die rather than wed, I know that life is not given
to a man to live selfishly, nor is God satisfied to have it wasted by
any one who hath sworn to be His knight and servant. Therefore even so
let it be!--I give all my unvalued existence to her who doth consider
it valuable, and with all my soul I pray that I may make so gentle and
trustful a creature happy. But to Love--oh, to Love a long
farewell!--farewell my dreams!--farewell ambition!--farewell the glory
of the vision unattainable!--farewell bright splendour of an earthly
Paradise!--for now I enter that prison which shall hold me fast till
death release me! Close, doors!--fasten, locks!--be patient in thy
silent solitude, my Soul!'"
Innocent's voice faltered here--then she said--"That is the end. He
signed it 'Amadis.'"
Robin was very quiet for a minute or two.
"It's pretty--very pretty and touching--and all that sort of thing," he
said at last--"but it's like some old sonnet or mediaeval bit of
romance. No one would go on like that nowadays."
Innocent lifted her eyebrows, quizzically.
"Go on like what?"
He moved impatiently.
"Oh, about being patient in solitude with one's soul, and saying
farewell to love." He gave a short laugh. "Innocent dear, I wish you
would see the world as it really is!--not through the old-style
spectacles of the Sieur Amadis! In his day people were altogether
different from what they are now."
"I'm sure they were!" she answered, quietly--"But love is the same
to-day as it was then."
He considered a moment, then smiled.
"No, dear, I'm not sure that it is," he said. "Those knights and poets
and curious people of that kind lived in a sort of imaginary
ecstasy--they exaggerated their emotions and lived at the top-height of
their fancies. We in our time are much more sane and level-headed. And
it's much better for us in the long run."
She made no reply. Only very gently she withdrew her hand from his.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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