"That is all very sad for me if it is true," she said--"but it is not
my fault. I could not help it. Dad couldn't help it either--he did not
know what to do. He expected that I might be claimed and taken away any
day--and he had no idea what name to give me--except Innocent--which is
a name I suppose no girl ever had before. He used to get money from
time to time in registered envelopes, bearing different foreign
postmarks--and there was always a slip of paper inside with the words
'For Innocent' written on it. So that name has been my only name. You
see, it was very difficult for him--poor Dad!--besides, he did not
believe in baptism--"
"Then he was an infidel!" declared Mr. Medwin, hotly.
Her serious blue eyes regarded him reproachfully.
"I don't think you should say that--it isn't quite kind on your part,"
she replied--"He always thanked God for prosperity, and never
complained when things went wrong--that is not being an infidel! Even
when he knew he was hopelessly ill, he never worried anyone about
it--he was only just a little afraid-and that was perfectly natural.
We're all a little afraid, you know--though we pretend we're not--none
of us like the idea of leaving this lovely world and the sunshine for
ever. Even Hamlet was afraid,--Shakespeare makes him say so. And when
one has lived all one's life on Briar Farm--such a sweet peaceful
home!--one can hardly fancy anything better, even in a next world!
No--Dad was not an infidel--please do not think such a thing!--he only
died last night--and I feel as if it would hurt him."
Mr. Medwin was exceedingly embarrassed and annoyed--there was something
in the girl's quiet demeanour that suggested a certain intellectual
superiority to himself. He hummed and hawed, lurking various unpleasant
throaty noises.
"Well--to me, of course, it is a very shocking state of affairs," he
said, irritably--"I hardly think I can be of any use--or consolation to
you in the matters you have spoken of, which are quite outside my scope
altogether. If you have anything to say about the funeral
arrangements--but I presume Mr. Clifford--"
"Mr. Clifford is master here now," she answered--"He will give his own
orders, and will do all that is best and wisest. As I have told you, I
am a name-less nobody, and have no right in this house at all. I'm
sorry if I have vexed or troubled you--but as you called I thought it
was right to tell you how I am situated. You see, when poor Dad is
buried I shall be going away at once--and I had an idea you might
perhaps help me--you are God's minister."
He wrinkled up his brows and looked frowningly at her.
"You are leaving Briar Farm?" he asked.
"I must. I have no right to stay."
"Is Mr. Clifford turning you out?"
A faint, sad smile crept round the girl's pretty, sensitive mouth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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