Whether the change was due to the orders I had left with the gardener
and the rest of the servants, or to my own state of mind, I cannot
tell. At all events, the old place did not look the same to me when I
opened my window on the morning after my arrival. There were the gray
walls below me and the gray turrets flanking the huge building; there
were the fountains, the marble causeways, the smooth basins, the tall
box hedges, the water-lilies, and the swans, just as of old. But there
was something else there, too--something in the air, in the water, and
in the greenness that I did not recognize--a light over everything by
which everything was transfigured. The clock in the tower struck
seven, and the strokes of the ancient bell sounded like a wedding
chime. The air sang with the thrilling treble of the song-birds, with
the silvery music of the plashing water and the softer harmony of the
leaves stirred by the fresh morning wind. There was a smell of
new-mown hay from the distant meadows, and of blooming roses from the
beds below, wafted up together to my window. I stood in the pure
sunshine and drank the air and all the sounds and the odors that were
in it; and I looked down at my garden and said: "It is Paradise, after
all." I think the men of old were right when they called heaven a
garden, and Eden a garden inhabited by one man and one woman, the
Earthly Paradise.
I turned away, wondering what had become of the gloomy memories I had
always associated with my home. I tried to recall the impression of my
nurse's horrible prophecy before the death of my parents--an impression
which hitherto had been vivid enough. I tried to remember my old self,
my dejection, my listlessness, my bad luck, my petty disappointments.
I endeavored to force myself to think as I used to think, if only to
satisfy myself that I had not lost my individuality. But I succeeded
in none of these efforts. I was a different man, a changed being,
incapable of sorrow, of ill luck, or of sadness. My life had been a
dream, not evil, but infinitely gloomy and hopeless. It was now a
reality, full of hope, gladness, and all manner of good. My home had
been like a tomb; to-day it was Paradise. My heart had been as though
it had not existed; to-day it beat with strength and youth and the
certainty of realized happiness. I revelled in the beauty of the
world, and called loveliness out of the future to enjoy it before time
should bring it to me, as a traveller in the plains looks up to the
mountains, and already tastes the cool air through the dust of the road.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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