"'Twas _then_ the first wish found a home in my breast To increase as time hurries along; 'Twas then I first learned to lisp softly the words Which I now love so proudly--'_Press on!_' "I'll make wider my bed, as onward I tread, A deep mighty river I'll be-- '_Press on_' all the day will I sing on my way, Till I enter the far-spreading sea." It ceased. A youth lingered beside its green edge Till the stars in its face brightly shone; He hoped the sweet strain would re-echo again-- But he just heard a murmur--"_Press on!_" * * * * * [FROM DICKENS'S HOUSEHOLD WORDS.] ADDRESS FROM AN UNDERTAKER TO THE TRADE (STRICTLY PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL.) I address you, gentlemen, as an humble individual who is much concerned about the body. This little joke is purely a professional one. It must go no farther. I am afraid the public thinks uncharitably of undertakers, and would consider it a proof that Dr. Johnson was right when he said that the man who would make a pun would pick a pocket. Well; we all try to do the best we can for ourselves--everybody else as well as undertakers. Burials may be expensive, but so is legal redress. So is spiritual provision; I mean the maintenance of all our reverends and right reverends. I am quite sure that both lawyers' charges and the revenues of some of the chief clergy are very little, if any, more reasonable than our own prices. Pluralities are as bad as crowded gravepits, and I don't see that there is a pin to choose between the church and the churchyard. Sanitary revolutionists and incendiaries accuse us of gorging rottenness, and battening on corruption. We don't do anything of the sort, that I see, to a greater extent than other professions, which are allowed to be highly respectable. Political, military, naval, university, and clerical parties, of great eminence, defend abuses in their several lines when profitable. We can't do better than follow such good examples. Let us stick up for business, and--I was going to say--leave society to take care of itself. No; that is just what we should endeavor to prevent society from doing. The world is growing too wise for us gentlemen. Accordingly, this Interments Bill, by which our interests are so seriously threatened, has been brought into Parliament. We must join heart and hand to defeat and crush it. Let us nail our colors--which I should call the black flag--to the mast, and let our war-cry be, "No surrender!" or else our motto will very soon be, "Resurgam;" in other words, it will be all up with us. We stand in a critical position in regard to public opinion. In order to determine what steps to take for protecting business, we ought to see our danger. I wish, therefore, to state the facts of our case clearly to you; and I say let us face them boldly, and not blink them. Therefore, I am going to speak plainly and plumply on this subject.