I presume that no disease of the human body has been assigned more reasons for its existence, with the exception of constipation, than that mere symptom of a disease, anal pruritus; a symptom which "Regulars" call a "disease," but "Irregulars" know to be only a symptom. It is very amusing to observe how they fill pages in their text-books, guessing, wondering and paying their respects to the imaginary quack doctors, "who are reaping a harvest of ill-gotten gain." The usual medical writer is a compound of ignorance, egoism and garrulity, and this may account for the great crop of reasons for "diseases." However, the writers in question are not so much to blame after all, even though they do belong to county medical societies; for how can they well resist the literary itch with which most of them are afflicted? Let them keep on writing while victims of pruritus ani wear out their weary lives scratching through weary nights--nights that extend into years, until permanent invalidism seems to be their destiny and end. Who, verily, are the medical quacks? I will leave it to a jury composed of those who have been cured of pruritus ani. I have yet to meet the first case of pruritus ani that is without the presence of the channels above described. There may be cases of itching at the anus and these channels entirely absent, but I have yet to discover such a case and I very much doubt if it exists. I am happy to inform the reader that all cases of pruritus ani are cured with ease and without any restrictions as to diet, and without internal remedies for the blood, nervous system, etc., given by doctors that guess. The causes are easily discovered; the symptoms are easily found and removed; the victim of pruritus ani may therefore escape from the labyrinth of error of the medical authors and practitioners who ought to be educators instead of "obstacators"--obstacles and stumbling-blocks in medical progress. CHAPTER XXI. ABSCESS AND FISTULA.