And so they began their walk, that walk of horror, of which she could
not think even in her old age without moaning in agony and wringing her
hands in pain. They went along the broad, empty streets, which she
instantly recognized from his description. She felt as if she met with
old friends both in the dark church and in the even houses of timber
and brick; but where were the carved gables and marble steps with the
high railing?
Börje had nodded to her as if he had guessed her thoughts. “It is a
long way still,” he had said.
If he had only been merciful and at once killed her hope. She loved him
so then. If he of his own accord had told her everything, there would
never have been any sting in her soul against him. But when he saw her
pain at being deceived, and yet went on misleading her, that had hurt
her too bitterly. She had never really forgiven him that. She could of
course say to herself that he had wanted to take her with him as far as
possible so that she would not be able to run away from him, but his
deceit created such a deadly coldness in her that no love could
entirely thaw it.
They went through the town and came out on the adjoining plain. There
stretched several rows of dark moats and high, green ramparts, remains
from the time when the town had been fortified, and at the point where
they all gathered around a fort, she saw some ancient buildings and
big, round towers. She cast a shy look towards them, but Börje turned
off to the mounds which followed the shore.
“This is a shorter way,” he said, for she seemed to be surprised that
there was only a narrow path to follow.
He had become very taciturn. She understood afterwards that he had not
found it so merry as he had fancied, to come with a wife to the
miserable little house in the fishing village. It did not seem so fine
now to bring home a better man’s child. He was anxious about what she
would do when she should know the truth.
“Börje,” she said at last, when they had followed the shelving, sandy
hillocks for a long while, “where are we going?”
He lifted his band and pointed towards the fishing-village, where his
mother lived in the house on the sand-hill. But she believed that he
meant one of the beautiful country-seats which lay on the edge of the
plain, and was again glad.
They climbed down into the empty cow-pastures, and there all her
uneasiness returned. There, where every tuft, if one can only see it,
is clothed with beauty and variety, she saw merely an ugly field. And
the wind, which is ever shifting there, swept whistling by them and
whispered of misfortune and treachery.
Börje walked faster and faster, and at last they reached the end of the
pasture and entered the fishing village. She, who at the last had not
dared to ask herself any questions, took courage again. Here again was
a uniform row of houses, and this one she recognized even better than
that in the town. Perhaps, perhaps he had not lied.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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