Ireland Under Coercion: The Diary of an American (2 of 2): (2nd ed.) (1888)Hurlbert, William Henry
History
Ireland Under Coercion: The Diary of an American (2 of 2): (2nd ed.) (1888)
Hurlbert, William Henry
Ireland -- Description and travel; Ireland -- Politics and government -- 1837-1901
These incidents occurred to Mr. Tener himself. Not less amusing and
instructive was a similar mistake on a larger scale made by an
over-crafty tenant in dealing with one of Mr. Tener's friends a few
years ago in the county of Leitrim. This tenant, whom we will call
Denis, was the fugleman also of a combination. He was a cattle dealer as
well as a farmer, and having spent a couple of hours in idly eloquent
attempts to bring about a general abatement of the rents, he lost his
patience.
"Ah, well, your honour!" he said, "I can't stay here all day talking
like these men, I must go to the fair at Boyle. Will you take a
deposit-receipt of the bank for ten pounds and give me the pound change?
that'll just be the nine pounds for the half-year's rent. But all the
same, yer honour, those men are all farmers, and it's not out of the
farm at all I made the ten pounds, it's out of the dealing!"
"But you couldn't deal without a farm, Denis, for the stock," said the
agent, as he glanced at the receipt. He hastily turned it over, and went
on, "Just indorse the receipt, and I'll consider your proposition."
The receipt was indorsed, and at once taken off by the agent's clerk to
the bank to bring back pound-notes for it, while the agent quietly
proceeded to fill out the regular form of receipt for a full year's
rent, eighteen pounds. Denis noted what he supposed of course to be the
agent's blunder, but like an astute person held his peace. The clerk
came back with the notes. Denis took up his receipt, and the agent
quietly began handing him note after note across the table.
"But, your honour!" exclaimed Denis, "what on earth are ye giving me all
this money for?"
"It's your change," said the agent, quite imperturbably. "You gave me a
bank receipt for one hundred pounds. I have given you a receipt for your
full year's rent, and here are eighty-two pounds in notes, and with it
eighteen shillings in silver--that's five per cent. reduction. I would
have made it ten per cent., only you were so very sharp, first about not
having the money, and then about the full receipt!"
In an instant all eyes were fastened upon Denis. Ichabod! the glory had
departed. The chorus went up from his disenchanted followers:--
"Ah, glory be to God, you were not bright enough for the agent, Denis!"
And so that day the agent made a very full and handsome collection--and
there was a slight reduction in the deposit-accounts of the local bank!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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