Irish Wonders: The Ghosts, Giants, Pooka, Demons, Leprechawns, Banshees, Fairies, Witches, Widows, Old Maids, and other Marvels of the Emerald IsleMcAnally, D. R. (David Russell)
General
Irish Wonders: The Ghosts, Giants, Pooka, Demons, Leprechawns, Banshees, Fairies, Witches, Widows, Old Maids, and other Marvels of the Emerald Isle
"So wid great displazemint, Satan tuk the hammer an’ chisel, an’ climbed
up an’ wint to work a cuttin’ his own face on the shtone, an’ it was as
hard as iron it was, an whin he’d hit it a couple av cracks, he shtopped
an’ shuck his head an’ thin scratched over his year wid the chisel an’
looked round at the saint as fur to say somethin’, but the blessed saint
looked at him agin so fayroshus, that he made no raimark at all, but
turned back to the clift quick an’ begun to hammer away in airnest till
the shweat shtud on his haythenish face like the dhrops on a wather-jug.
"On the next day, Lord Robert thought he’d call the owld Inimy, an’ remind
him that, bein’ as he’d failed to get Kathleen, their bargain was aff. So
he made the charm Satan gev him, but he didn’t come fur anny thrial he’d
make.
"’Bad scran to the Imp,’ says he. ’Sure he must be mighty busy or maybe
he’s forgot entirely.’
"So he out an’ wint to see the witch, but she wasn’t in, an’ while he was
waitin’ for her, bein’ not far away from the saint’s cave, he thought he’d
have a peep, an’ see if Tim an’ Kathleen were shtill there. So he crawled
over the top o’ the hill beyant the cave like the sarpint that he was, an’
whin he come down a little, he seen the owld Pooka on the clift, wid the
hammer in wan hand an’ the chisel in the other a poundin’ away at the rock
an’ hangin’ on be his tail to a tree. Lord Robert thought the eyes ’ud
lave his head, fur he seen it was the divil sure enough, but he cudn’t
rightly make out phat he was doin’. So he crawled down till he seen, an’
thin, whin he undhershtood, he riz an’ come an’ took a sate on a big
shtone ferninst the clift, a shlappin’ his legs wid his hands, an’ roarin’
an’ the wather bilin’ out av his eyes wid laughin’.
"’Hilloo Nickey,’ says he, when he’d got his breath agin an’ cud shpake.
’Is it yerself that’s in it?’ Mind the impidince av him, shpakin’ that
familiar to the inimy av our sowls, but faix, he’d a tongue like a
jewsharp, an’ cud use it too.
"’Kape from me,’ says Satan to him agin, as crass as two shticks, an’
widout turnin’ his head fur to raigârd him. ’Lave me! Begorra, I’ll wipe
the clift aff wid yer carkidge if ye come anny closter,’ says he.
"’A-a-a-h, woorroo, now. Aisey, ye desayvin’ owld blaggârd,’ says Lord
Robert, as bowld as a ram, fur he knewn that Satan daren’t lave the job to
come at him. ’Will ye kape yer timper? Sure ye haven’t the manners av a
goat, to be shpakin’ to a gintleman like that. I’ve just come to tell ye
that bein’ ye failed, our bargain ’s aff,’ says he.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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