London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction
“Did she ever tell you anything of my earlier life?” he asked, when he
could command his voice.
“Nothing, except that you had--had not been happy in your marriage.”
It was a little strange for her to be speaking thus with a man so much
her elder, but the subject of their emotions put them on equal ground.
“Do you know that I was once secretary to Mr. Clarendon?”
She gazed at him with agitated interest.
“I did not know that.”
“Yes, I was; all through the five years of his married life. I had many
opportunities of understanding his private affairs, and I could not help
seeing what the relations were between him and his wife. Mrs. Clarendon
is to be forgiven everything.”
Ada heard, with bowed head.
“What her moral claims and standing may be--with that we have no
concern. Such judgments have little to do with personal feeling, and I
want, if it be possible, to soften your heart to her, that is all. I owe
Mrs. Clarendon more than I owe any one, dead or living. At her
husband’s death I was plunged into sufferings which I cannot speak of in
detail--they would have been bad enough in any case, and were made all
but intolerable by the completest poverty. If it had not been for the
children, I should assuredly have killed myself. In my despair I wrote
to her. I had never been on such terms with her as warranted me in doing
this, but----” he waved his hand.
“It would have been natural enough if she had thrown aside my letter,
as awakening disagreeable memories, and left it unanswered. Instead of
that, she met me with such kindness as one human being seldom shows
to another. She invited me to come to Knightswell, and insisted on my
bringing the children--they had, happily, no mother. I was wretchedly
ill, unable to exert myself in any way, only the workhouse was before
me.”
His voice failed him for a moment.
“I remember your coming,” Ada said quietly.
“After that life was hard enough, but never what it had been. If I were
to tell you all she has been to the girls since then----” He broke off.
“Perhaps you would think there was shame in it; that I should have been
too proud to accept so much help. It may be so. A man submits for the
sake of his children to what would perhaps degrade him if he stood
alone. Well, these are the things that I wanted you to know. And more;
Mrs. Clarendon has never spoken to me of you in any but the justest
and most generous way. She has recognised your talents, and has always
accepted gladly any suggestion I made for your good. Think, Ada--that
cannot have been easy to her.”
There was a long silence. Then the girl asked:
“Did you ever see my mother?”
“Your parents were unknown to me.”
“I did not say my parents--my mother.”
She corrected him with cold emphasis, looking into his face. Meres
averted his eyes.
“No, I never saw her,” was his uneasy reply.
“Mr. Ledbury, one of the trustees, tells me that she was on the stage.”
He looked surprised.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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