Israel Rank : $b The autobiography of a criminalHorniman, Roy
General
Israel Rank : $b The autobiography of a criminal
Horniman, Roy
Criminals -- Fiction; Detective and mystery stories; Humorous stories
I knew that his next move would be London. A young man with means and
no one to control his actions is as sure to gravitate towards London
as the lizard is to seek the sun. His sister, who should have been the
man, urged a profession, suggesting the army, but Harry Gascoyne
kicked at the mere idea of a life of routine and discipline. This much
I had gathered at the tiny little inn half a mile from the Gascoynes’
house, which was much frequented by the old man who combined for them
the office of indoor and outdoor factotum. The keeper of the
public-house itself had been placed in his present position by Harry
Gascoyne’s father, so that the establishment quite partook of the
character of a feudal outpost. In addition, the landlady had been cook
at the Grange.
“’E’ll never do no work, won’t Mr. ’Arry,” said the old factotum, as
he smoked his pipe on the wooden seat by the doorway and surveyed the
pines etched black against the crimson flush of the setting sun.
“Not ’e, not ’e,” agreed the landlord, taking in the prospect with as
little poetical refreshment as his companion.
They were very proud of being able to converse with intimate knowledge
of the gentlefolk living hard by, and conducted their conversation
like inferior actors, casting side glances at their audience to watch
the effect of the performance. Their audience was myself, seated on
the wooden bench on the other side of the doorway and regaling myself
with cold beef and pickles. Vanity has always kept me from drinking
alcohol in any form, otherwise I verily believe I might have been a
drunkard. I think, perhaps, that being unaccustomed to spirits, a
glass of strong brandy on a certain grim morning that draws nearer and
nearer will not be amiss.
But for this great matter of vanity, how many more drunkards would
there not be! Not many with a weakness for the bottle are restrained
by the immorality of voluntarily surrendering the gift of reason, or
the prospect of declining in the scale of prosperity. The first
objection appeals to them not at all, and the second is not
sufficiently apparent in its immediate effects for it to act as a
deterrent. An immediate coarsening of the features and a general
degradation of appearance are different matters. Few people care about
being repulsive, and to the real drunkard this fact soon becomes
apparent.
The two old men found the Gascoyne topic most absorbing, and talked
incessantly, till the crimson light behind the pines changed to a
faint opal, and the stars were alight in the heavens.
“’Is feyther, ’e never done no work,” said the landlord.
“That be true,” said the other, as if he were bearing witness to some
virtue of the late Mr. Gascoyne.
“’E spent a deal of money too,” said the landlord.
“’E wur generous with ’is money,” answered the other.
“And none ’ave cause to know that better’n we.”
“That’s true enough.”
“Miss Edith be more like ’er mother. A nice lady but a bit close.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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