"Yes, sir, I have been ill--am ill; but now it's more from remorse; from
the guilt of a wicked, cruel heart, than this same fever you speak of."
There was a pause. Jane spoke with difficulty, her breath came quick
and short, as though her heart laboured heavily under the load of sin
she spoke of.
"Turn more to the light," she said, "so that I may see your face.
So--that is well. Still like your mother, strangely like, with none of
her hard passions or cruel hate. Your love might be fierce, burning, and
strong, but unlike her you would sacrifice your own happiness to secure
the well being of the one you love. Had she done so, what misery to her,
what misery to me might have been spared?"
"Did you know my mother?" asked Mr. Linchmore.
"Tell him, Anne," said Jane, as Mrs. Marks held some wine and water to
her pale lips, that seemed too feeble to utter another word.
"If you please, sir," said Mrs. Marks, dropping her deepest curtsey,
"this is Tabitha, my sister 'Tabitha Jane,' who was brought up so kindly
by your lady mother; but there, I don't wonder you don't remember her. I
had a hard matter to myself, when I went over to Dean to fetch her,
come four years ago this next Christmas."
"Tabitha! This Tabitha! The pale, meek girl, who bore so uncomplainingly
what we boys resented. Can this be Tabitha?"
"Yes," replied Jane. "It can. It is. The weight of a guilty secret has
ploughed my face with these deep furrows. Call me not meek; I was
anything but that, I was a sinful, wicked woman. Oh! I have much to
tell: much that has been locked up in my heart for more than thirty
years. How I have suffered under the burden that at last has grown too
heavy for me to bear, and I sink under its load, must divulge it; must
have her forgiveness, ere I die!"
"Your words fill me with a foreboding of evil," replied Mr. Linchmore.
"Think well before you speak, Tabitha. Is it necessary that this secret,
sinful as you say it is, should be divulged. Does it concern, does it
benefit those living?"
"If it did not, I would never speak it, but struggle on with its
sorrow, till I died. No hard, and cruel as my mistress was, not from
Tabitha should come the tale that will denounce her and her evil ways."
"She was my mother, Tabitha," said Mr. Linchmore, as if reproaching her
harshness.
"True, she was. I do not forget it; still I must speak, must tell of her
sin and mine, for it is sin, fearful sin. I would, for your sake, Master
Robert, that it were otherwise; but when I tell of my wrong-doing, with
mine must come hers. It must. Justice must be done. The mother's
craving, broken heart must be healed."
"God forbid that I should be the one to stand in the way. Speak,
Tabitha! but be as merciful as you can; remember you speak of one whose
memory ought to be dear to me. I will steel my heart to hear--and bear."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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