Fathers and daughters -- Fiction; Social classes -- England -- Fiction
"Don't look so _empressé_ over it, Challis!" Really, this woman's
faculty for going close to precipices, foot-sure, is something
perfectly marvellous. Tenderness outright seemed the only natural
sequel just now. But she will get back to safety, after gazing coolly
over the edge. Trust her! "I couldn't say it all in one word, you
see.... Never thought that in six months you would be writing a tragedy
for me to play in. That's all that it comes to. At any rate, you
seemed quite a different person then." Had she recoiled too abruptly
from the precipice? Is there slight concession, just to accommodate a
working equilibrium, in her last words? Her own working equilibrium,
mind you;--in which to dangle her victim over that precipice at
leisure, and yet to keep able to deny its proximity undisturbed, or
pooh-pooh it altogether, at choice. For a thorough-paced female flirt
enjoys driving her quarry mad best, when she knows she has plausible
innocent unconsciousness enough left in the cellar to quench any fever
of self-accusation of her own. "Who ever said a word, or thought a
thought, about love-making?..." Don't we know the sort of thing?
Challis's own frame of mind--for the story must needs try to define it,
however difficult it is to deal with--was one of a sort of thankfulness
that he had perturbation of feeling all to himself. Therein lay
his safety; he could keep it secret. He could and would pay for it
by additional tenderness to poor dear Polly Anne--who _was_ Polly
Anne, after all, mind you!--when this last stupid bit of purposeless
quarrelsomeness should have cleared away. But he wanted security that
the conflagration whose smouldering he could not disguise from himself
would be local. He had just, only just, stamped out a spark that might
have become a flame at that precipice-edge, now a moment since. He was
willing to go great lengths in persuading himself that there were no
fires smouldering elsewhere; for to what end, in Heaven's name, should
he recognize them?
But suppose he should be forced to! Suppose he should find one day
that he could no longer parade before his mind this creed that was his
security--this impossibility that he was ever present in his absence to
this woman; as he had to confess perforce, struggle as he might against
growing conviction, she was so often--nearly always--present to him. He
built this faith upon a rock of friendship, genial and firm, but always
cold, that an exaggerated respect for her character--which really
did him honour--chose to assign as the only leasehold her heart could
accommodate him with. Perhaps unfounded hallucinations about the beauty
of Judith's character were the most dangerous features of the disease
Alfred Challis was sickening for, if it had not developed already.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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