"Confound it," I said, mopping my forehead and staggering up; "I could
have curried the mare and hitched her up six times. Why, something’s
wrong with your old gas wagon," I went on, getting hot. "I’ll not turn
this crank any more," I said; "I’ll be so sore in my arms I couldn’t
hold my gun straight to-day."
He looked puzzled, annoyed.
"Why, I can’t thee—" he began to lisp again.
"What’s that you’ve got in your mouth?" I jerked out. "You don’t lisp
that way naturally."
A smile broke over his face. He took out a little, black peg, and
roared. It was too funny—to him.
"Beg yo’ pardon, old boy—beg yo’ pardon—ha-ha-ha! Good joke. That’s
the switch plug. You take it out when the machine’s idle, and I forgot
to put it back in the little hole. Here," he said, sticking it in, "it
connects the current—ha-ha—good joke—now give her a whirl." I gave the
whirl, but in no manner to enjoy the joke. I heard her fire up and
begin to throb. We moved off beautifully. We began to fly up the
smooth pike, my hand back in Dick’s collar, for fear he’d jump out and
commit suicide. I dared not turn round to look the honest dog in the
eyes.
"Fine, fine—ain’t this fine, old man?" cried my friend enthusiastically,
as he buzzed up the road. "Look at your watch—nine-twenty. Ah, now
we’ll be in the field at ten sharp—sharp—two good hours for hunting
before we eat our pocket lunch.
"Now your little old mare," he laughed, "would take up those fifteen
miles by now? Say, ha! ha!—acknowledge the corn, old man—the decree has
gone forth—it’s all over with the old pacers."
I growled and said nothing. So did Dick. It was good, though, the way
we were eating up space and getting nearer to the birds, those game,
nervy, whirring birds that dart like winged flashes of thunder before
your gun. We whirled over the bridge at the river at lightning speed.
I saw the sign up about the fine for going faster than a walk, but how—
"How can an automobile walk—ha! ha!" he shouted, for he had read it also
and divined my thoughts and winked knowingly at me. "That applies to
horses and jackasses and such," he laughed—"things that walk. But this
don’t walk, eh?"
Honk! Honk!
He was blowing for a stray mule to get out of his way.
The mule got, tail up, and settled into a barbed wire fence, which he
tried to jump, but only succeeded in cutting up his countenance.
Honk! Honk! "Get out of the way, if that’s all the sense, you’ve got.
My! but ain’t we buzzing?"
I nodded, beginning to become exhilarated myself.
"This is pretty good," I admitted. "I begin to see how you people soon
become speed-crazy. We’ll get the birds to-day," I warmed up, "and I
thank you for—look out! Stop!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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