With the first returning strength, freed from lassitude and stupor,
Graydon began whispering joyous words of love to Jane. His eyes
were bright with the gladness that his pain had brought. She checked
his weak outbursts at first, but before many days had passed she was
obliged to resort to a firmness that shocked him into a resentful
silence. She was even harsh in her command. It cut her to the quick
to hurt him, but she was steeling herself against the future.
When he was able to walk out in the grounds, she withdrew farther
into the background of their daily life. He hungered for her,
but she began to avoid him with a strange aloofness that brought
starvation to his heart. While she was ever attentive to his wants,
her smile lacked the tenderness he had known in the days of danger,
and her face was strangely sombre and white.
"Jane," he said to her one day as he came in from his walk and
laid down his crutches, "this can't go on any longer. What is the
matter? Don't you love me--not at all?"
She stood straight and serious before him, white to the lips, her
heart as cold as ice.
"I love you, Graydon, with all my soul. I shall always love you.
Please, please, don't ask any more of me. You understand, don't you?
We cannot be as we once were--never. That is ended. But, you--you
must know that I love you."
"It is sheer madness, dearest, to take that attitude. What else in
the world matters so long as we love one another? I felt at first
that I could not ask you to be my wife after what my father did
that night. That was as silly of me as this is of you. I did not
contend long against my love. You have never been out of my mind,
night or day. I was tempted more than once to desert-but that was
impossible, you know. It was the terrible eagerness to go back to
you and compel you to be mine. My father did you a grave wrong.
He---"
"But my father did me a graver wrong, Graydon. I have thought it
all out. I have no right to be alive, so what right have I to be
any man's wife?"
"Nonsense, dearest. You are alive, and you live for me, as I do
for you. You have saved my life; you must save my love. These last
few weeks have knit our lives together so completely that neither
of us has the right to change God's evident purpose. I love you
for yourself, Jane. That is enough. There has not been an instant
in which I have felt that any circumstance could alter my hope to
marry you. You say; you have no name. You forget that you may have
mine, dearest--and it is not much to be proud of, I fear, in the
light of certain things. You must be my wife, Jane."
"I cannot, Graydon. That is final. Don't! Don't plead, dear. It
will not avail. Look into my eyes. Don't you see that I mean it,
Graydon?"
"By Heaven, Jane, your eyes are lying to me. You can't mean what
is back of them. It's cruel--it's wrong."
"Hush! you must not become excited. You are far from strong, and
I am still your nurse. Be---"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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