All attempts to reason with my mother were fruitless. She fell into
alarming agonies when she discovered the full import of that coldness and
dejection which my demeanour betrayed. Fatigued and indisposed as she was,
she made preparation to depart; she refused to pass one night under the
same roof,--her _own_ roof,--and determined to begone, on her return
home, the very next morning.
Will not your heart comprehend the greatness of this trial, and pity
and excuse a momentary wavering, a yielding irresolution? Yet it was but
momentary. An hour's solitude and deep reflection fortified my heart
against the grief and supplication even of my mother.
Next day she was more calm. She condescended to reason, to expostulate.
She carefully shunned the mention of atrocious charges. She dwelt only on
the proofs which your past life and your own confessions had afforded of
unsteady courage and unwarrantable principles; your treatment of the
Woodbury girl; your correspondence with Thomson; your ignoble sloth; your
dependence upon others; your helplessness.
From these accusations I defended you in silence. My heart was your
secret advocate. I did not verbally repel any of these charges. That of
inglorious dependence for subsistence upon others I admitted; but I could
not forbear urging that this dependence was on a father. A father who was
rich; who had no other child than yourself; whose own treatment of you had
planted and reared in you this indisposition to labour; to whose property
your title, ultimately, could not be denied.
"And has he then," she exclaimed, "deceived you in that particular? Has
he concealed from you his father's resolutions? That his engagement with
you has already drawn down his father's anger, and even his curses? On his
persisting to maintain an inviolable faith to you, he was ignominiously
banished from his father's roof. All kindred and succour were disclaimed,
and on you depends the continuance of that decree, and whether that
protection and subsistence which he has hitherto enjoyed, and of which his
character stands in so much need, shall be lost to him forever."
You did not tell me _this_, my friend. In claiming your love, far
was I from imagining that I tore you from your father's house, and plunged
you into that indigence which your character and education so totally
unfit you for sustaining or escaping from.
My mother removed all doubt which could not but attend such unwelcome
tidings, by showing me her own letter to your father, and his answer to
it.
Well do I recollect your behaviour on the evening when my mother's
letter was received by your father. At that time, your deep dejection was
inexplicable. And did you not--my heart bleeds to think how much my love
has cost you--did you not talk of a fall on the ice when I pointed to a
bruise on your forehead? That bruise, and every token of dismay, your
endeavours at eluding or diverting my attention from your sorrow and
solemnity, are now explained.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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