Fly to me, therefore. Be at the front-door at _ten_ this night. My
Molly will be my only companion. Be the necessary measures previously
taken, that no delay or disappointment may occur. One half-hour and the
solemn rite may be performed. My absence will not be missed, as I return
immediately. Then will there be an end to, fluctuation, for repentance
cannot _undo_. Already in the sight of Heaven, at the tribunal of my
own conscience, am I _thy wife_; but somewhat more is requisite to
make the compact universally acknowledged. This is _now_ my resolve.
I shall keep it secret from the rest of the world. Nothing but the
compulsion of persuasion can make me waver, and concealment will save me
from that, and _to-morrow_ remonstrance and entreaty will avail
nothing.
My girl has told me of her interview with you, and where you are to be
found. The dawn is not far distant, and at sunrise she carries you this. I
shall expect an immediate and (need I add, when I recollect the invariable
counsel you have given me?) a compliant answer.
And shall I--Let me, while the sun lingers, still pour out my soul on
this paper; let me indulge a _pleasing, dreadful thought_--Shall I,
ere circling time bring back _this_ hour, become thy----
And shall my heart, after its dreadful languors, its excruciating
agonies, know once more a rapturous emotion? So lately sunk into
despondency; so lately pondering on obstacles that rose before me like
Alps and menaced eternal opposition to my darling projects; so lately the
prey of the deepest anguish: what spell diffuses through my frame this
ravishing tranquillity?
_Tranquillity_, said I? That my throbbing heart gainsays. You
cannot see me just now, but the palpitating heart infects my fingers, and
the unsteady pen will speak to you eloquently.
I wonder how far sympathy possesses you. No doubt--let me see: _ten
minutes after four_,--no doubt you are sound asleep. Care has fled away
to some other head. Those invisible communicants, those aerial heralds
whose existence, benignity, and seasonable succour are parts, thou
knowest, of _my_ creed, are busy in the weaving of some beatific
dream. At their bidding the world of thy fancy is circumscribed by four
white walls, a Turkey-carpeted floor, and a stuccoed ceiling. Didst ever
see such before? Was't ever, in thy wakeful season, in the same apartment?
Never! And, what is more, and which I desire thee to note well, thou art
not hereafter to enter it except in dreams.
A poor taper burns upon the toilet,--just bright enough to give the
cognizance of something in woman's shape and in negligent attire
scribbling near it. Thou needst not tap her on the shoulder; she need not
look up and smile a welcome to the friendly vision. She knows that thou
art _here;_ for is not thy hand already in hers, and is not thy cheek
already wet with her tears? for thy poor girl's eyes are as sure to
overflow with joy as with sorrow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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