Shortly after my return to Hamburg, from an excursion into Saxony to
see Holtz's friends, I met with Mr. Cartwright, an American. After much
fluctuation, I had previously resolved to content myself with writing to
you, of whom I received such verbal information from several of our
countrymen as removed my anxiety on your account. A very plausible tale,
told me by some one that pretended to know, of Mrs. Talbot's marriage with
a Mr. Cartwright, extinguished every new-born wish to revisit my native
land, and I expected to set sail on my return to India, before it could be
possible to hear from you.
I was on the eve of my departure, when the name of Cartwright, an
American, then at Hamburg, reached my ears. The similarity of his name to
that of the happy man who had supplanted the poor wanderer in the
affections of Jane, and a suspicion that they might possibly be akin, and,
consequently, that _this_ might afford me some information as to the
character or merits of _that_ Cartwright, made me throw myself in his
way.
You may easily imagine, what I shall defer relating, the steps which
led us to a knowledge of each other, and by which I discovered that this
Cartwright was the one mentioned to me, and that, instead of being already
the husband of my Jane, his hopes of her favour depended on the certain
proof of my death.
Cartwright's behaviour was in the highest degree disinterested. He
might easily have left me in my original error, and a very few days would
have sent me on a voyage which would have been equivalent to my death. On
the contrary, his voluntary information, and a letter which he showed me,
written in Jane's hand, created a new soul in my breast. Every foreign
object vanished, and every ancient sentiment, connected with our
unfortunate loves, was instantly revived. Ineffable tenderness, and an
impatience next to rage to see her, reigned in my heart.
Yet, my friend, with all my confidence of a favourable reception from
Jane,--her conduct now exempt from the irresistible control of her mother,
and her tenderness for me as fervent as ever,--yet, since so excellent a
man as Cartwright existed, since his claims were, in truth, antecedent to
mine, since my death or everlasting absence would finally insure success
to these claims, since his character was blemished by none of those
momentous errors with which mine was loaded, since that harmony of opinion
on religious subjects, without which marriage can never be a source of
happiness to hearts touched by a true and immortal passion, was perfect in
_his_ case,--never should mere passion have seduced me to her feet.
If my reflections and experience had not changed my character,--if all
_her_ views as to the final destiny and present obligations of human
beings had not become _mine_,--I should have deliberately ratified
the act of my eternal banishment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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