When I had quitted for Ireland, it was still supposed that I was a young
man of large fortune--the truth had not been told. I had acceded to Mr
Masterton's suggestions, that I was no longer to appear under false
colours, and had requested Harcourt, to whom I made known my real
condition, that he would everywhere state the truth. News like this
flies like wildfire; there were too many whom, perhaps, when under the
patronage of Major Carbonnell, and the universal rapture from my
supposed wealth, I had treated with hauteur, glad to receive the
intelligence, and spread it far and wide. My _imposition_, as they
pleased to term it, was the theme of every party, and many were the
indignant remarks of the dowagers who had so often indirectly proposed
to me their daughters; and if there was anyone more virulent than the
rest, I hardly need say that it was Lady Maelstrom, who nearly killed
her job horses in driving about from one acquaintance to another, to
represent my unheard-of atrocity in presuming to deceive my betters.
Harcourt, who had agreed to live with me--Harcourt, who had praised my
magnanimity in making the disclosure--even Harcourt fell off; and about
a fortnight after I had arrived in town, told me that not finding the
lodgings so convenient as his former abode, he intended to return to it.
He took a friendly leave; but I perceived that if we happened to meet in
the streets, he often contrived to be looking another way; and at last,
a slight recognition was all that I received. Satisfied that it was
intended, I no longer noticed him; he followed but the example of others.
So great was the outcry raised by those who had hoped to have secured me
as a good match, that any young man of fashion who was seen with me, had,
by many, his name erased from their visiting lists. This decided my fate,
and I was alone. For some time I bore up proudly; I returned a glance
of defiance, but this could not last. The treatment of others received
a slight check from the kindness of Lord Windermear, who repeatedly asked
me to his table; but I perceived that even there, although suffered as a
proteg of his lordship, anything more than common civility was studiously
avoided, in order that no intimacy might result. Mr Masterton, upon whom
I occasionally called, saw that I was unwell and unhappy. He encouraged
me; but, alas! a man must be more than mortal, who, with fine feelings,
can endure the scorn of the world. Timothy, poor fellow, who witnessed
more of my unhappy state of mind than anybody else, offered in vain his
consolation. "And this," thought I, "is the reward of virtue and honesty.
Truly, virtue is its own reward, for it obtains no other. As long as I
was under false colours, allowing the world to deceive themselves, I was
courted and flattered. Now that I have thrown off the mask, and put on
the raiment of truth, I am a despised, miserable being. Yes; but is not
this my own fault? Did I not, by my own deception, bring all this upon
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account