"How do you mean, Talbot?"
"Mean why, that I was deficient in a certain qualification, which never
was before denied to a Talbot--courage."
"And you never knew that before?"
"Never, upon my honour; my mind was always full of courage. In my mind's
eye I built castles of feats of bravery, which should eclipse all the
Talbots, from him who burnt Joan of Arc, down to the present day. I
assure you, that surprised as other people were, no one was more
surprised than myself. Our regiment was ordered to advance, and I led
on my company, the bullets flew like hail. I tried to go on, but I could
not; at last, notwithstanding all my endeavours to the contrary, I
fairly took to my heels. I was met by the commanding officer--in fact,
I ran right against him. He ordered me back, and I returned to my
regiment, not feeling at all afraid. Again I was in the fire, again I
resisted the impulse, but it was of no use, and at last, just before the
assault took place, I ran away as if the devil was after me. Wasn't it
odd?"
"Very odd, indeed," replied I, laughing.
"Yes, but you do not exactly understand why it was odd. You know what
philosophers tell you about volition; and that the body is governed by
the mind, consequently obeys it; now, you see, in my case, it was
exactly reversed. I tell you, that it is a fact, that in mind I am as
brave as any man in existence; but I had a cowardly carcass, and what
is still worse, it proved the master of my mind, and ran away with it. I
had no mind to run away; on the contrary, I wished to have been of the
forlorn hope, and had volunteered, but was refused. Surely, if I had not
courage I should have avoided such a post of danger. Is it not so?"
"It certainly appears strange, that you should volunteer for the forlorn
hope, and then run away."
"That's just what I say. I have the soul of the Talbots, but a body
which don't belong to the family, and too powerful for the soul."
"So it appears. Well, go on."
"It was go off, instead of going on. I tried again that day to mount
the breach, and as the fire was over, I succeeded; but there was a mark
against me, and it was intimated that I should have an opportunity of
redeeming my character."
"Well?"
"There was a fort to be stormed the next day, and I requested to lead
my company in advance. Surely that was no proof of want of courage?
Permission was granted. We were warmly received, and I felt that my legs
refused to advance; so what did I do--I tied my sash round my thigh, and
telling the men that I was wounded, requested they would carry me to the
attack. Surely that was courage?"
"Most undoubtedly so. It was like a Talbot."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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