"And with as good and as true Milesian blood as any in Ireland. If you
think, sir, that because my friend, just for his own amusement, thinks
proper to put on the worst of his clothes and carry a broom, just by way
of exercise, to prevent his becoming too lusty, he is therefore to be
struck like a hound, it's a slight mistake, that's all; and here sir, is
his card, and you will oblige me by mentioning any friend of yours with
whom I may settle all the little points necessary before the meeting of
two gentleman."
I could hardly refrain from laughing at this Irish gentleman and his
friend, but I thought it advisable to retain my countenance. "My dear
sir," replied I, "it grieves me to the heart that I should have
committed such an error, in not perceiving the gentility of your friend;
had I not been so careless, I certainly should have requested him to do
me the honour to accept a shilling, instead of having offered him the
insult. I hope it is not now too late?"
"By the powers, I'm not one of those harum-scarum sort, who would make
up a fight when there's no occasion for it, and as your 'haviour is that
of a gentleman, I think it will perhaps be better to shake hands upon
it, and forget it altogether. Suppose now, we'll consider that it was
all a mistake? You give the shilling as you intended to do, I'll swear
only you were in so great a hurry--and then, perhaps, you'll not object
to throw in another shilling for that same tap with the cane, just to
wipe off the insult as it were, as we do our sins, when we fork out the
money, and receive absolution from the padre; and then, perhaps, you
will not think it too much if I charge another shilling for my time and
trouble, for carrying a message between two gentlemen."
"On the contrary, Mr O'Donaghan, I think all your demands are
reasonable. Here is the money."
Mr O'Donaghan took the three shillings. "Then, sir, and many thanks to
you, I'll wish you a good evening, and Mr O'Rourke shall know from me
that you have absolution for the whole, and that you have offered every
satisfaction which one gentleman could expect from another." So saying
Mr O'Donaghan put his hat on with a firm cock, pulled on his gloves,
manoeuvred his stick, and, with a flourishing bow, took his departure.
I had hardly dismissed this gentleman, and was laughing to myself at the
ridiculous occurrence, when Mr Cophagus returned, first putting his
cane up to his nose with an arch look, and then laying it down on the
table and rubbing his hands. "Good--warm old lady. No--dead and cold--
but left some thousands--only one legacy--old Tom cat--physic him
to-morrow--soon die, and so on."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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