"Nay, Japhet, for that filial feeling I do commend thee; but ask thy own
heart, is that the only feeling which now exciteth thee? Dost thou not
expect to find thy father one high in rank and power? Dost thou not
anticipate to join once more the world which thou hast quitted, yet
still hast sighed for? Dost thou not already feel contempt for thy
honest profession:--nay, more, dost thou not only long to cast off the
plain attire, and not only the attire, but the sect which in thy
adversity thou didst embrace the tenets of? Ask thy own heart, and
reply if thou wilt, but I press thee not so to do; for the truth would
be painful, and a lie thou knowest, I do utterly abhor."
I felt that Susannah spoke the truth, and I would not deny it. I sat
down by her. "Susannah," said I, "it is not very easy to change at
once. I have mixed for years in the world, with you I have not yet
lived two. I will not deny but that the feelings you have expressed
have risen in my heart, but I will try to repress them; at least, for
your sake, Susannah, I would try to repress them, for I value your
opinion more than that of the whole world. You have the power to do
with me as you please:--will you exert that power?"
"Japhet," replied Susannah, "the faith which is not built upon a more
solid foundation than to win the favour of an erring being like myself
is but weak; that power over thee, which thou expectest will fix thee in
the right path, may soon be lost, and what is then to direct thee? If
no purer motives than earthly affection are to be thy stay, most surely
thou wilt fall. But no more of this; thou hast a duty to perform, which
is to go to thy earthly father, and seek his blessing. Nay, more, I
would that thou shouldst once more enter into the world, there thou
mayst decide. Shouldst thou return to us, thy friends will rejoice, and
not one of them will be more joyful than Susannah Temple. Fare thee
well, Japhet, mayst thou prove superior to temptation. I will pray for
thee--earnestly I will pray for thee, Japhet," continued Susannah, with
a quivering of her lips and broken voice, and she left the room.
PART THREE, CHAPTER SIXTEEN.
I RETURN TO LONDON, AND MEET WITH MR MASTERTON.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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