"Nay, don't defy me, Newland, for if you do, you'll put me on my mettle. Above all, don't lay me a bet, for that will be still more dangerous. We have only spent about four hundred of the thousand since we have lived together, which I consider highly economical. What do you say, shall we go to Cheltenham? You will find plenty of Irish girls, looking out for husbands, who will give you a warm reception." "I hate your fortune and establishment hunters," replied I. "I grant that they are looking out for a good match, so are all the world; but let me do them justice. Although, if you proposed, in three days they would accept you; yet once married, they make the very best wives in the world. But recollect we must go somewhere; and I think Cheltenham is as good a place as any other. I do not mean for a wife, but--it will suit my own views." This last observation decided me, and in a few days we were at Cheltenham; and having made our appearance at the rooms, were soon in the vortex of society. "Newland," said Carbonnell, "I dare say you find time hang rather heavy in this monotonous place." "Not at all," replied I; "what with dining out, dancing, and promenading, I do very well." "But we must do better. Tell me, are you a good hand at whist?" "Not by any means. Indeed, I hardly know the game." "It is a fashionable and necessary accomplishment. I must make you master of it, and our mornings shall be dedicated to the work." "Agreed," replied I, and from that day, every morning after breakfast till four o'clock, the major and I were shut up, playing two dummies under his instruction. Adept as he was, I very soon learnt all the finesse and beauty of the game. "You will do now, Newland," said the major one morning, tossing the cards away. "Recollect, if you are asked to play, and I have agreed, do not refuse; but we must always play against each other." "I don't see what we shall gain by that," replied I: "for if I win, you'll lose." "Never do you mind that; only follow my injunctions, and play as high as they choose. We only stay here three weeks longer, and must make the most of our time." I confess I was quite puzzled at what might be the major's intentions; but that night we sauntered into the club. Not having made our appearance before, we were considered as new hands by those who did not know the major, and were immediately requested to make up a game. "Upon my word, gentlemen, in the first place, I play very badly," replied the major; "and in the next," continued he, laughing, "if I lose, I never shall pay you, for I'm cleaned out." The way in which the major said this only excited a smile; he was not believed, and I was also requested to take a hand. "I'll not play with the major," observed I, "for he plays badly, and has bad luck into the bargain; I might as well lay my money down on the table."