Besides, while with me, Clarence was wholly mine; if I might judge by manner, hanging over my embroidery frame while Lady Amabel was writing; or-- Ah! I have said enough of this. He was to leave me now. Would he die? Would he return? or, if he did, would he return true to me, and _tell me that he_ loved me? You see, under all this strong current of love for him, there were doubts. I hardly recognised them; but they existed nevertheless. I had heard him laugh at "love-stricken damsels," left by men who had been publicly engaged to them. I recollected his boasting, of giving advice to a young officer, who had gone "a great deal too far," to get sick leave, and sail for England by the first ship. The young man did not take this advice; he stayed, married, and Clarence called him "a fool."--Yes, these doubts rose to the surface of my mind, and then-- I heard his voice in the front of the house. I lifted the blind of the dressing-room window, and saw him: he looked harassed, he had been up all night. He was on horseback, and fully accoutred. Oh! was he departing? I dropped the blind; next I heard the rattle of spurs and sword; he had dismounted. I wiped the tears from my eyes, and ran down to the garden by a back staircase. Clarence had some deer there in a little paddock. I walked mechanically along a grape-walk to the inclosure: the pretty things knew me, for I visited them every day; they put their faces through the railings, and licked my hands. Nelly--he had named one after me-- trotted up and down impatiently; she was watching for her master. I suppose he thought that I should be with his favourites; for, ere long, he came through the grape-walk. I hastened to meet him--for agitation and distress overcame my reserve--and we walked up and down the arcade together. He entreated me not to forget him, said he should be wretched till he returned, and a hundred tender things besides; but I could see that the change from garrison life to active service was exciting to him: he had no idea of temporising with savages, he said; he hoped Sir Adrian would settle the question by "speaking to the Kafirs," as they said themselves, "with guns." Oh! it would only be a month's affair. They were to ride five hundred miles a week till they reached the seat of war; and then, he added, with a gay air, "think how much faster we shall ride back."