My mother insisted on my going into society--she was doubtless right; but you know what society consists of in a great garrison,--a few ladies, crowds of gentlemen, and some women, whose friendship is far from desirable; I believe some of the latter were unsparing in their scandalous chronicles of Cape Town, when Mrs Rashleigh and I were both made subjects of remark. The girl of seventeen, the daughter of a representative of authority, and of a mother whose abilities and lofty aspirations rendered her an object of fear and dislike with many, was not likely to be dealt with gently by these idle, frivolous, uneducated women; the story of Miss Daveney's "_liaison_" with Captain Fairfax lost nothing in such hands; and although most of our earliest friends stood by us through good report and evil report, these were not many, and it was evident that the faith of some was shaken. Lyle took care that my father and mother should see this--he alluded to it with indignation, and avowed himself more devoted than ever-- "My _mither_ urged me sair, my _father_ could na speak, But he looked in my face--" I asked for time--I sincerely believed that I had banished Clarence from my heart, if not from my mind. I accustomed myself to receive Lyle's attentions; they were offered, though not offensively, in the sight of other men, and in an evil hour for all, I yielded. I admired Lyle--I admired his courage, his abilities, his apparently independent spirit, his resolution; I was perpetually told that his perseverance deserved reward. I married him, believing that I felt a regard and admiration for him, which would ripen into affection. How much it has already cost me to set down these details, these reasons, or excuses--if you think the last word the truest--for consenting to a union which has blighted so many years of my young life! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I have him before me now. I hear the solemn adjuration of the minister of God, as we stood before the altar of the little church of B--: "I require and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, ye do now confess it." I looked up at the tall, powerful man standing beside me. Never shall I forget his countenance-- his features were suffused with a leaden hue, which faded to a deadly pallor, his lips were colourless, and he leaned against the altar-rails for support; but he recovered himself by a strong effort, and repeated the responses distinctly, though in a low time, and with his eyes fixed on the ground. We retired for a time to a beautiful village near the sea. I soon noticed that my husband was moody, silent, but not unkind. I tried to please him; I fancied that I must be a dull companion for one so clever.