Epic literature; French fiction -- Translations into Finnish; Musicians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
"Oh! Christophe!... Such an awful thing has happened!"
He thrust away from the table. He stuttered:
"H--here?"
She pointed to the house on the other side of the yard.
He cried:
"Sabine!"
She wept:
"She is dead."
Christophe saw nothing. He got up: he almost fell: he clung to the table,
upset the things on it: he wished to cry out. He suffered fearful agony. He
turned sick.
Rosa hastened to his side: she was frightened: she held his head and wept.
As soon as he could speak he said;
"It is not true!"
He knew that it was true. But he wanted to deny it, he wanted to pretend
that it could not be. When he saw Rosa's face wet with tears he could doubt
no more and he sobbed aloud.
Rosa raised her head:
"Christophe!" she said.
He hid his face in his hands. She leaned towards him.
"Christophe!... Mamma is coming!..."
Christophe got up.
"No, no," he said. "She must not see me."
She took his hand and led him, stumbling and blinded by his tears, to a
little woodshed which opened on to the yard. She closed the door. They were
in darkness. He sat on a block of wood used for chopping sticks. She sat on
the fagots. Sounds from without were deadened and distant. There he could
weep without fear of being heard. He let himself go and sobbed furiously.
Rosa had never seen him weep: she had even thought that he could not weep:
she knew only her own girlish tears and such despair in a man filled her
with terror and pity. She was filled with a passionate love for Christophe.
It was an absolutely unselfish love: an immense need of sacrifice, a
maternal self-denial, a hunger to suffer for him, to take his sorrow upon
herself. She put her arm round his shoulders.
"Dear Christophe," she said, "do not cry!"
Christophe turned from her.
"I wish to die!"
Rosa clasped her hands.
"Don't say that, Christophe!"
"I wish to die. I cannot ... cannot live now.... What is the good of
living?"
"Christophe, dear Christophe! You are not alone. You are loved...."
"What is that to me? I love nothing now. It is nothing to me whether
everything else live or die. I love nothing: I loved only her. I loved only
her!"
He sobbed louder than ever with his face buried in his hands. Rosa could
find nothing to say. The egoism of Christophe's passion stabbed her to
the heart. Now when she thought herself most near to him, she felt more
isolated and more miserable than ever. Grief instead of bringing them
together thrust them only the more widely apart. She wept bitterly.
After some time, Christophe stopped weeping and asked:
"How?... How?..."
Rosa understood.
"She fell ill of influenza on the evening you left. And she was taken
suddenly...."
He groaned.
"Dear God!... Why did you not write to me?"
She said:
"I did write. I did not know your address: you did not give us any. I went
and asked at the theater. Nobody knew it."
He knew how timid she was, and how much it must have cost her. He asked:
"Did she ... did she tell you to do that?"
She shook her head:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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