Adultery -- Fiction; Artists -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction; Painters -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
“Darling little boy—mother’s pretty little boy, you must not go—I cannot
let you go. Can’t you see I want you so?”
The child was tiny and feeble at birth, but Jenny and Mrs. Schlessinger
had both thought he was thriving and making good progress. Then one
morning he fell ill, and by midday it was all over.
After the funeral she started to cry, and could not stop; for weeks
afterwards she sobbed unceasingly night and day. She fell ill herself
too; inflammation of the breasts developed, and Mrs. Schlessinger had to
send for the doctor, who performed an operation. The despair of her soul,
together with the pains of her body, gave her many a dreadful, delirious
night.
Mrs. Schlessinger slept in the adjoining room, and on hearing her cries
of agony, rushed in and sat down by the bed, comforting her, stroking her
thin, clammy hands with her own fat, warm ones, and coaxing and lecturing
her a little. It was God’s will, and was probably much better for the boy
and for her too—still so young as she was. Mrs. Schlessinger had lost two
children herself—little Bertha when she was two years old, and Wilhelm at
fourteen, such a dear boy too—yet they were born in wedlock and should
have been the support and comfort of her old age. But this little one
would only have been a chain round the feet of the Fräulein who was so
young and pretty. He had been very dear and sweet, the little angel, and
it was very hard....
Mrs. Schlessinger had lost her husband too, and many of the young ladies
who had stayed in her house had seen their little ones die; some of them
had been pleased, others had put their babies out to nurse at once so as
to get rid of them. It was not nice, of course, but what could one do?
Some had cried and wailed as Jenny did, but they got over it in time,
and married and settled down happily afterwards. But a despair like
Fräulein’s she had never yet witnessed.
Mrs. Schlessinger suspected in her heart that her patient’s despair was
caused to a great extent by the departure of the cousin first to Dresden
and then to Italy just about the time the boy died. But that is exactly
what they always did—the men.
The memory of those maddening, agonizing nights was ever afterwards
associated with the picture of Mrs. Schlessinger sitting on the stool by
her bed while the light rays from the lamp were refracted in the tears
dropping from her small, kind eyes on to her round red cheeks. And her
mouth, which did not stop talking for a second, her little grey plait of
hair, the white night-jacket trimmed with pointed lace, and her petticoat
of grey and pink stripped flannel scalloped at the bottom. And the small
room with plaster medallions in brass frames.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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