Adultery -- Fiction; Artists -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction; Painters -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
“DEAR MOTHER,—I may tell you now that I have arrived safely in Italy and
am quite comfortable, and that”—the rest of the sheet was covered with
words to learn. Beside the verbs he had written down the conjugations,
and the margin all along the melodramatic poetry was tightly covered with
notes: _Quant’è bella giovenezza, che se fugge tuttavia_.
Even the commonest words were written down. Gunnar had probably tried to
read the book directly he came to Italy, before he knew the language at
all. On the first page was written “G. Heggen, Firenze, 1903”—that was
before she knew him.
She began to read here and there. It was Leopardi’s “Ode to Italy,” which
Gunnar was so enthusiastic about. She read it. The margin was full of
notes and ink-spots.
It was as if he had sent her a message more intimate than any of his
letters. Young, sound, firm, and active, he was calling her, asking her
to come back to life—and work. Oh, if she could gather courage and begin
work again! She wanted to try—to make her choice whether for life or
death; she wanted to go out there where once she had felt herself free
and strong—alone save for her work. She longed for her friends, the
trusty comrades who never came too near to hurt one another, but lived
side by side, each minding their own business and all sharing what they
possessed in common: the belief in their ability and the joy of their
work. She wanted to see again the country of mountains, with proud,
severe lines and sunburnished colours.
A few days later she left for Berlin, where she stayed some time visiting
the galleries, but, feeling tired and forlorn, she went on the Munich.
In the Alte Pinakothek she stopped before Rembrandt’s “Holy Family.” She
did not look at it from a painter’s point of view; she only looked at
the young peasant woman who, with her garment still drawn aside from her
full bosom, sat looking at her child sleeping on her lap, and holding his
foot caressingly in her hand. It was an ugly little peasant boy, but in
splendid condition; he was sound asleep and such a darling all the same.
Joseph was looking at him across the mother’s shoulder, but it was not
an old Joseph, and Mary was no immaterial, heavenly bride; they were a
strong, middle-aged working man and his young wife, and the child was the
joy and pride of the two.
In the evening she wrote to Gert Gram a long, sad and tender letter
bidding him farewell for ever.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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