Oh, how was it possible, thus taken unprepared, to know in what
direction an answer should be framed, to be certain of anything,
except that denial was dangerous and that equal danger attended the
disclosure of the truth? The nephew murmured with pale, trembling lips
that a man must not be judged too severely for the follies of his
youth, that he had been brought up to a wandering life, an unsettled
education, but that he was willing to repair any harm that he had done.
His uncle caught up the words, almost before he had completed them,
with another question that came faster than the first.
‘Oh! ah! Follies. Follies. I’ve not a doubt of it. But folly is a word
that may mean an inch or may mean an ell. I have to ask you, sir, and I
charge you to tell me honestly, to what extent has your folly, as you
call it, gone?’ And then, as no answer came, he proceeded very slowly,
with eyes and lips that were fixed and resolute.
‘There’s some folly, sir, that is easily bought and paid for. It can be
forgotten, and no harm is done. There is other folly that clings to a
man through life, and takes away from him every chance of raising
himself. A low match, sir, that’s what can’t ever be got over. I’ve had
reason to know for myself that marriage is a serious thing. I should
like to ask ye, nephy Gillan, if you’re inclined to tell the truth, if
the folly ye speak of has gone as far as that? For if it has, I
consider ye a ruined man. I tell ye candidly before ye answer me!’
It was too much. James Gillan sprang suddenly to his feet, with a mind
no longer in doubt, nor a manner that was wavering, and poured out his
words on each other, fast and faster, as if he were striving to thrust
inward shame aside. ‘Why, sir,’ he cried out. ‘I hope you don’t suspect
me of binding myself so seriously without any reference to yourself, at
the very time when I had come down to this neighbourhood with the
intention of knowing you and being close to you! I have only to tell
you of some foolish trifling which perhaps went further than I had
intended it to do, but for which I am willing to pay any sum that may
be demanded in order to satisfy the woman and the girl.... And now,
sir, that I have, as I hope, explained myself, I must ask for the
decision that you have promised me. These events may, I hope, be
explained and cleared away. But what must I do meanwhile? Where shall I
go?’
‘If you ask me the question,’ said Mr Lee, in a low voice and very
slowly, ‘I think I shall be able to tell you, sir, where you may go!’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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