Jane Smithson began at once, and had a great deal to say, so much,
indeed, that all were soon tired of her, although she contrived to
introduce into her words as little information as might be about
herself. She spoke indeed both of trials, prayers, and praises, of the
necessity for repentance and for faith, but always in such a regular,
even tone as let no glimpse of her inner life be seen. She seemed to be
about thirty, and might have been a servant, was dressed neatly in
black, and wore an old, silk mantle; and round her face, which was
somewhat plump, though sallow, was a round black bonnet that was tied
beneath her chin. Before the end of her words, which were wearisome,
Annie had begun to thrill and flush with fear, for she was herself on
the right hand of the speaker, with Alice seated on the other side of
her. Oh! what should she do if she were herself addressed?.... and how
could these people talk _so_ of their religion? her passionate, silent
nature revolted from their words. As the endless voice drew to a close
at last, her heart choked her breath with terror; she drove her nails
into the palms of both her hands, and kept her eyes firmly bent
upon the ground. She would not look up, even if she were addressed, and
he would see that she did not mean to answer.
‘Alice Robson, tell us, please, how the Lord has been dealing with
you.’
The shock of relief, and perhaps of disappointment--relief and
disappointment can be so strangely mixed!--was considerably softened
for Annie by the wonder how Alice would ever be able to find courage
enough to speak. She need not have wondered, for in spite of her
reserve the farmer’s daughter could bear such an ordeal well. Alice
answered softly and very modestly, but yet in a manner that arrested
attention; for the absence of formality is a quality to be noticed in a
Class.
‘I’ve been troubled lately,’ said Alice, softly, quietly, with a slight
quiver in her voice, a faint colour in her cheek; ‘I’ve been thinking
of one as seems to be in danger, and feeling as if in some way I ought
to help. An’ then I’ve wondered if it was all selfishness in me, an’ if
I was really only feared to lose a friend; but I hope I’ll be taught to
feel as I ought to do, an’ as the one I fear for ’ll be kept from harm
an’ wrong.’
Mr Bender bent towards her to give her his advice (he had only said a
few words in answer to the first member’s speech), whilst the whole
class was stirred by some visible curiosity with regard to the
mysterious friend of whom she had spoken. ‘It’s Tim,’ thought Annie,
after rapid consideration, with which was mingled a thrill of
irresistible anger--of anger that the mention of one whom she had
learned to think her property could bring the colour to another woman’s
cheek. So hopelessly mistaken do we all become when we attempt to
penetrate another’s heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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