For Alice had bent her head, the words of advice being ended, with all
her mind full of fear and prayer for Nat, the passionate, wilful boy
who clung to her heart by the very reason of his passion and
wilfulness. ‘She isn’t a good girl--oh! she’s not,’ cried Alice; ‘she
likes every man as comes near to look at her; an’ he seems so excited
about it--an’ I can’t think it is good for him to come up to t’ Farm,
an’ work for her. Mr Bender says I’m to trust, but it is hard to go on
trusting when everything goes wrong.’ It was perhaps natural that she
should not question herself about the nature of the feeling that wrung
such fear from her. She kept her head bent and did her best to
‘trusten,’ though with some soreness of perplexity in her heart.
The other members had meanwhile had their say, and in speeches of
varying length had all attempted to communicate their spiritual
condition to Mr Bender’s ears. It must be owned that they were rather
less than more successful, unless indeed he had the discernment to read
between the lines--and such discernment was not especially apparent in
the words of advice which he addressed to them. The six who spoke
were of very different ages, from the stout mistress of the house to an
hysterical servant-girl; the other four being two sisters, dressmakers,
the young wife of a labourer, and a teacher in the village-school.
These related their feelings in conventional sentences, to which he
replied with words of exhortation; the regularity being only broken by
the trembling servant-girl, who thought herself reproved, broke down
all at once, and sobbed. When she had been consoled by Mr Bender, who
became somewhat agitated, the line of speakers was completed; for with
one exception, the stranger and visitor, each had taken her part, and
had no more to say. There followed a pause, and all began to wonder
whether it was not time for the Class to be closed.
‘It is not late,’ said Mr Bender, nervously, without daring this time
to raise his eyes from the ground; ‘we have a few minutes in which it
may be possible for us to listen to one more experience. Will our
sister, who is a stranger, consent to be persuaded to say a few words
about herself to us?’
Silence. Excitement. Annie sat resolutely upright, with her eyes as
resolutely downcast; her face burning, her heart throbbing, and her
lips compressed. Mr Bender glanced at her with visible disappointment;
he waited an instant, then he spoke to her again:
‘We Methodists have learned the comfort of joining together when
we wait on the Lord; we believe that we are often able to find
consolation and instruction from the lips of each other at such times
as these. Has our sister any difficulty on which she would ask our
advice, or any sorrow which she may ask us to share?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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