Poor Jenny! If she was not quite forgiving she was yet very pitiful,
and her pride was little more than the outcome of her reserve; she had
shown no want of a mother’s tenderness, although she had scarcely
spoken to her child. Annie lay in her room upstairs, and was gently
watched and cared for; little dainties were set by the side of the bed
for her to eat; the beautiful hair that had hung loose on the door-step
was now plaited loosely, and gently brushed and smoothed. She lay on
her pillows, her eyes bright with fever, and one hand hanging languidly
on the counterpane; it was the left hand, on which shone the
wedding-ring. Now and then, as she lay, there would pass across her
features a convulsive spasm as of sudden pain or fear; but with the
determination that still belonged to her she would make an attempt to
check it, although such attempts almost always resulted in terrible
shudderings that shook the bed-clothes under which she lay. These
shudderings must have been evidence of some internal conflict; but, if
it were so, she would not express it in words. The little circle of
gold was her mother’s consolation; but it was a desperate consolation
to which even the mother dared not cling.
Ah! do they know much of the feeling of a mother who imagine that at
such a time it is composed of injured pride, of the dread of gossipping
voices and a tarnished name? Is not its worst grief the knowledge,
owned in silence, that the daughter, once close, is now distant, far
away; that some unfathomable gulf has intervened between the souls of
the mother and the child? Jenny had felt that gulf widening through the
summer months, when she knew that her son and daughter had secrets of
which they would not speak to her--and now, on one side at least, the
ruin had come, and her daughter lay silent on her bed, whilst the
village talked outside. Ah! what could she do, poor Jenny, the Jenny we
have known, the gentle, upright, the timid, shrinking soul, but fulfil
her house-duties with eyes too tired for tears, and surround her child
with proofs of a mother’s tenderness? The authority that can rouse and
awe the sinner is not for the affection that is strong in feebleness;
the clarion voice that pierces and subdues finds no note in the accents
of such a mother’s love. Yet Jenny had some strength in her calamity;
her child was not left untended, or her house-work undone. It may be
said that she should have trusted in religion, but then she had
not been educated to understand such trust--to do her day’s duty well
and carefully had, until now, made the chief part of the religion of
her life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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