Mary Cole had been, all her life, that thing beloved of the sentimental
novelist, a misunderstood child. She was the only misunderstood member
of the Cole family, and she was misunderstood, as is very often
the case, in a large measure because she was so plain. Had she been
good-looking as Helen, or independent as Jeremy, she would have either
attracted the world in general, or have been indifferent as to whether
she attracted it or not. As it was, she longed to attract everyone, and,
in truth, attracted nobody. She might have found consolation in books
or her own highly-coloured imaginations had it not been for the burning
passions which she formed, at a very early age, for living people. For
some years now her life had centred round her brother Jeremy. Had the
Coles been an observant family they might, perhaps, have found some
pathos in the way in which Mary, with her pale sallow complexion, her
pear-shaped face with its dull, grey eyes, her enormous glasses, her
lanky colourless hair, and her thin, bony figure, gazed at her masculine
and independent brother.
Uncle Samuel might have noticed, but he was occupied with his painting.
For the rest they were not observant. Mary was only seven years of age,
but she had the capacity for being hurt of a person of thirty. She was
hurt by everything and everybody. When somebody said: “Now, Mary, hurry
up. You're always so slow,” she was hurt. If Helen told her that she was
selfish, she was hurt, and would sit wondering whether she was selfish
or no. If Mrs. Cole said that she must brush her hair more carefully she
was hurt, and when Jeremy said anything sharp to her she was in agony.
She discovered very quickly that no one cared for her agonies. The Coles
were a plain, matter-of-fact race, and had the day's work to finish.
They had no intention of thinking too much of their children's feelings.
Thirty years ago that was not so popular as it is now. Meanwhile, her
devotion to her brother grew with every month of her life. She thought
him, in all honesty, the most miraculous of all human beings. There
was more in her worship than mere dog-like fidelity. She adored him for
reasons that were real and true; for his independence, his obstinacy,
his sense of fun, his sudden, unexpected kindnesses, his sudden
helplessness, and above all, for his bravery. He seemed to her the
bravest hero in all history, and she felt it the more because she was
herself compact of every fear and terror known to man. It was not enough
for her, the ordinary panic that belongs to all human life at every
stage of its progress. She feared everything and everybody, and only
hid her fear by a persistent cover of almost obstinate stupidity,
which deceived, to some extent, her relations, but never in any degree
herself. She knew that she was plain, awkward and hesitating, but she
knew also that she was clever. She knew that she could do everything
twice as fast as Jeremy and Helen, that she was often so impatient
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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