Mr. Cole spoke of a God just and terrible, but a God Who apparently
for the merest fancy put His faithful servant to terrible anguish and
distress, and then for another fancy, as light as the first, spared him
his sorrow. Mr. Cole emphasised the necessity for obedience, the need
for a willing surrender of anything that may be dear to us, “because the
love of God must be greater than anything that holds us here on earth.”
But Jeremy did not listen to these remarks; his mind was filled with
this picture of a vast shadowy figure, seated in the sky, his white
beard flowing beneath eyes that frowned from dark rocky eyebrows
out upon people like Jeremy who, although doing their best, were
nevertheless at the mercy of any whim that He might have. This terrible
figure was the author of the hot day, author of the silent house and the
shimmering darkened church, author of the decision to take his mother
away from all that she loved and put her somewhere where she would be
alone and cold and silent--“simply because He wishes...”
“From this beautiful passage,” concluded Mr. Cole, “we learn that God is
just and merciful, but that He demands our obedience. We must be ready
at any instant to give up what we love most and best....”
Afterwards they all trooped out into the splendid sunshine.
IV
There was a horrible Sunday dinner when--the silence and the roast
beef and Yorkshire pudding, and the dining-room quivering with heat,
emphasised every minute of the solemn ticking clock--Mary suddenly burst
into tears, choked over a glass of water, and was led from the room.
Jeremy ate his beef and rice pudding in silence, except that once or
twice in a low, hoarse voice whispered: “Pass the mustard, please,” or
“Pass the salt, please.” Miss Jones, watching his white face and the
tremble of his upper lip, longed to say something to comfort him, but
wisely held her peace.
After dinner Jeremy collected Hamlet and went to the conservatory. This,
like so many other English conservatories, was a desolate and desperate
little place, where boxes of sand, dry corded-looking bulbs, and an
unhappy plant or two languished, forgotten and forlorn. It had been
inherited with the house many years ago, and, at first, the Coles had
had the ambition to make it blaze with colour, to grow there the most
marvellous grapes, the richest tomatoes, and even--although it was
a little out of place in the house of a clergyman of the Church
of England--the most sinister of orchids. Very quickly the little
conservatory had been abandoned; the heating apparatus had failed, the
plants had refused to grow, the tomatoes never appeared, the bulbs would
not burst into colour.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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