To-day the glass burnt like fire, and the green fields came floating
up to be transfigured there like running water. The house was utterly
still; the red glass door shut off the world. Jeremy sat, his arms
tightly round Hamlet's neck, on the dirty floor, a strange mixture of
misery, weariness, fright, and anger. There was already in him a strain
of impatience, so that he could not bear simply to sit down and bewail
something as, for instance, both his sisters were doing at this moment.
He must act. They could not bo happy without their mother; he himself
wanted her so badly that even now, there in the flaming conservatory, if
he had allowed himself to do such a thing, he would have sat and cried
and cried and cried. But he was not going to cry. Mary and Helen could
cry--they were girls; he was going to do something.
As he sat there, getting hotter and hotter, there grew, larger and
larger before his eyes, the figure of Terrible God. That image of
Someone of a vast size sitting in the red-hot sky, his white beard
flowing, his eyes frowning, grew ever more and more awful. Jeremy stared
up into the glass, his eyes blinking, the sweat beginning to pour down
his nose, and yet his body shivering with terror. But he had strung
himself up to meet Him. Somehow he was going to save his mother and
hinder her departure. At an instant, inside him, he was crying: “I want
my mother! I want my mother!” like a little boy who had been left in the
street, and at the other, “You shan't have her! You shan't have her!” as
though someone were trying to steal his Toy-Village or Hamlet away from
him. His sleepy, bemused, heated brain wandered, in dazed fashion, back
to his father's sermon of that morning. Abraham and Isaac! Abraham and
Isaac!
Abraham and Isaac! Suddenly, as though through the flaming glass
something had been flung to him, an idea came. Perhaps God, that huge,
ugly God was teasing the Coles just as once He had teased Abraham.
Perhaps He wished to see whether they were truly obedient as the
Jampot had sometimes wished in the old days. He was only, it might be,
pretending. Perhaps He was demanding that one of them should give up
something--something of great value. Even Jeremy, himself!...
If he had to sacrifice something to save his mother, what would be the
hardest sacrifice? Would it be his Toy-Village, or Mary or Helen, or
his soldiers, or his paint-box, or his gold fish that he had in a bowl,
or--No, of course, he had known from the first what would be hardest--it
would, of course, be Hamlet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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